I stared at myself in the mirror. I was having a great time looking after Matilda and the triplets but now I had to leave them.
I don't cry but as I pack my last toiletries up and close my door, I feel very sad.
I put my backpack in my car and go back into the house and hug Matilda and the triplets.
"I'll miss you guys." Matilda says as she hugs Aubrey too.
I say goodbye to everyone and when I see Hayden, I give her some money secretly.
"I know you guys are coming up on 6 months so treat yourselves." She thanks me and goes over to tell Casey about to which he stares at me. I can faintly hear the 'she knows?'
We say our final goodbyes to everyone before we get into my car. The movers would be bringing anything else we needed, including Aubrey's car behind us.
Aubrey sets up his phone and plugs it in. We'd need to use maps on his phone.
We set off and drive for hours without talking, just listening to the music and ignoring one another.
We stop at a gas station and I use the toilet in the surprisingly clean facilities and I grab some food and drinks, for Aubrey.
I get back in the car and wait for Aubrey and an hour goes by and he doesn't come back.
What was happening? Was he okay? I feel panic start to consume my chest as I tell myself to breathe but it doesn't work. I calm down only after 10 minutes.
I look around and his phone is gone and so his is stuff.
I hope he didn't.
I get out and look around. He's gone.
I call him from my iPad.
It goes to voicemail.
I start muttering to myself and remember to take a few deep breaths. Luckily I had a GPS. I start driving again and make the rest of the drive by myself and make it.
I go to orienteering and get my stuff and look at my schedule and also what dorm I would be in.
I make my way to the dorm and I notice that it's co-ed which I didn't mind.
I haul all my stuff inside and set up.
I put all my clothes away and other stuff away and make up one of the beds before lying down on it.
I hear a knock on the main door.
"Hello, is anyone in there?" It's Aubrey.
I grab the clothes he insist I keep and open the door and throw it at his face.
"Take your stupid stuff." I say but he walks in before I can shut the door. "Go away."
"I like your dorm." He says. Oh so that's how it's gonna be.
I'm going to shout at him but I feel tears brimming my eyes and when I look at him they escape.
I turn around, wipe my tears, take a deep breath and turn back around.
"Aubrey can you leave my dorm please?" I say and even though I'm trying my hardest to stay calm and composed, it's not working.
I push him out of the dorm and close the door this time, noticing he left his clothes here somehow.
I sit down on my bed and I try to breathe but crumble like a pastry and I end up crying, a lot. This was the effect of Aubrey.
I fall asleep and jolt awake when the nightmare wake me up.
I look at my phone and see an email saying I was in a single so I had the dorm to myself. That felt really lonely.
At least I wouldn't bother anyone with my lack of sleep, or my nightmares.
I get up even though it's late and I grab the only warm clothes I have, which are Aubrey's and I go for a walk.
I walk all the way to the river and sit there for a while as I watch it drift past me.
I sit there until the sun starts to come up and I eventually make my way back.
Aubrey is outside a dorm when I get back to my floor and before I can go in, he stops me.
"Where were you?" He asks me. "I was knocking on your door."
"None of your business." I say. I try to walk in but he pulls me back.
"Where... were... you?" He asks and I'm see that he's worried.
"I went for a walk." I again try to walk in but he holds me back, again.
"You left at 3 in the morning." He's looking at my eyes. "You didn't sleep."
"No. I did." I say.
"Don't lie to me." He's seething.
"No. You don't care about me so don't pretend you do." His grip on my arm tightens just for a split second. He bends down, his mouth jist inches away from my ear.
"Don't be so sure about that." His breath tickles my ear and I finally get out of his grip and go into my dorm.
I close the door and go into the room and lie down on the bed. I sit against the wall and listen to the music on the other side of it.
I know it's Aubrey next door because he's playing the same song on repeat.
Cornerstone by Arctic Monkeys. It's his favourite song but it's mine too and I hear him calling Caleb and Canu and he speaks to them. I feel anguish in my heart when they all start singing together.
I listen to them sing cornerstone over and over again. Aubrey eventually stops and I have to do something else to focus my time so I clean the whole dorm and then shower afterwards and put on some fresh clothes.
I wish I had friends. Not just some people who I work with because I work with the police. Real friends.
Maybe I could find some friends here at university.
Who I was kidding.
