𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐒 | Mason Mount

22 | Confession

"Erm... people have seen you too much in that dress." I let out an exasperated huff as I walked back into the closet to find something new to wear. Willow joined me in rummaging through my clothes shortly after to find something decent for tonight. "Oooh, what about this one?" She said pulling out a strapless, long blue grey dress, "haven't seen you wear this one yet? Didn't you buy this for that date a few years ago?"

I chuckled, "ah yes, that was before I found out he had a wife and kids."

"Right.." she said laughing along, "note to self, don't date older men..." she displayed the dress in front of me, "but I still think it's cute; appropriate for a formal party." She paused, fiddling with the dress and gave me a sly smirk, "and Mason would be blown away by it.." She teased and I couldn't help but feel my heart drop at the mention of his name.

It's been 2 months since Mason's confession and I still haven't had the chance to talk to him about it. It wasn't like I was trying to avoid him or anything, I was just never given any jobs that involved going to Cobham and I'm not just going to bump into him on the streets randomly... But honestly, the distance away from him was good for me. It gave me time to think about my feelings or figure out if I was just overwhelmed at the time. I initially found it difficult for me to accept my feelings towards him, trying to make sense of it all and was going through a state of denial, so I tried running back to the very beginning..

I knew I found Mason attractive the first time I saw him. I mean— I was stuck staring at his beauty for the longest time— until he opened his mouth of course, and refrained from catching any feelings towards him because I thought Tyler was the only one for me.. I had grown accustomed to my feelings towards Tyler that I was too stubborn to change so I tried to find excuses and red flags in Mason to make him unappealing to me. But after what Tyler did to me, making me look pathetic in front of everyone, I had developed a genuine fear of heartbreak and rejection which made me push Mason away even further.

But when I saw him at the stadium that day, none of those negative feelings I previously felt towards him were there. At least not until I spoke to him one on one... I again, forced those negative feelings to convince myself that he was the worst human on the planet.. I did it so often that I eventually convinced myself that he hated me too..

And I was close to repeating this cycle again. Words could not describe how terrifying it was for my heart to be in someone else's hands. But after stalking his account a few times (yesterday night included) I've realised that my feelings were too strong to avoid. He was running through my mind almost every second of the day, plastering a giddy smile on my face and butterflies in my stomach. Everything that happened in my life I've suddenly wanted to tell him, everything I did reminded me of him..

"I told you I had feelings for Mason a week ago and you still won't shut up about it," I said playfully snatching the dress out of Willow's hands.

She squealed, "it's just so exciting! You haven't had a crush in so long!" I appreciated her not mentioning Tyler, even though it's quite obvious that he was my most recent crush..

"Yeah, well I'm terrified.." Tonight Trivago was hosting a fancy dinner party to which all the staff and partners were invited to. This meant all the Chelsea players and staff were also coming, which gave me the opportunity to see Mason. Now I'm not entirely certain about my feelings yet, still having doubts that I'm just overwhelmed or something, so tonight was my way of determining how I feel.

"Yeah but you still have to tell him. It's been two months since he's told you how he felt, his feelings can't go away that quick." Willow reassured me.

"That's if I have feelings for him. If I do, I'll tell him.. if not then I'll do nothing and just go on with my life."

"And pretend like you haven't been thinking about him non-stop for 2 months?" Willow tested raising her eyebrow and I rolled my eyes.