I hate him. I hate him so much that its all I think about.
I spend every day thinking about how I'm going to break up with him, and how my life will be without him. So why can't I do it?
Why cant I just end it and be done.
I am scared. I'm so so scared and I don't even know exactly what I am so afraid of.
I crave love. He is not love, he is hate in the strongest form.
He calls me a liar but nothing that comes out of my mouth isn't true because believe me, I wish it was all a lie that I made up.
I wish that I was that bad that I told lies about this sweet boy whose everything anyone could ask for.
But its not lies. None of them are lies.
He is manipulative, a liar, mentally abusive.
Why do I feel so guilty about someone who feels no guilt or shame for how he treats someone. Why should I feel guilty about someone else's actions?
I'm writing this calmly.
I am not angry.
This is how I have felt for so long.
I just have these fantasies of how things should be but their not real.
I deserve to feel love, to be love, and to give love to someone that's not gonna take advantage of it. Do I not?
That's not okay. This is not okay.
YOU ARE READING
Everything I couldn't remember to say
PoetryThis is for all the nights I looked forward to coming home and typing out everything I couldn't say. This is for the ones that have said so much that their words didn't matter anymore. This is for the ones who needed their words to change someone t...