Scoville Sauce

Sweat dripped down Vesper Noir's brow. The hot, summer sun over the badlands of New Mexico bore down on him mercilessly. It made everything blur together in Vesper's eyes.

The mesas.

The dust.

The potted pepper plants.

Water bottle in hand, Vesper sprinkled his head of long, gray hair and took a big gulp to stave off the heat. Then, he drizzled the potted pepper plants with equal, precise measure.

Vesper squatted down. He eyed the fiery red chilies and counted the wrinkles on their skin.

"Almost there." Vesper whispered to himself. He crushed the water bottle in his hands and grumbled impatiently, "Almost there. But not quite."

He tossed aside his water bottle, retreated to his RV trailer and threw himself onto the hard sofa-bed. This wasn't the first time that Vesper Noir ran away from society in his RV, he recalled. Back in college, he went on a solo trip to 'discover himself' just because he felt like it. Now, in the twilight years of his young adult life, he was running away to fight for his life.

Speculating on cryptocurrencies, one-of-a-kind ancient computer parts and endearing, surprisingly wholesome pictures of Hololive's manager/producer A-chan left a gaping hole in Vesper's wallet and saddled him with debt.

Debt that he owed to many shady characters.

The kid named Leader.

That fried chicken chain owner who totally doesn't torture her employees.

An Indonesian cat.

Even an actual loan shark.

A very short loan shark.

Everyone that he has talked to told him that he was a dead man walking. He was already in too deep with the worst people in Albuquerque. But, Vesper wasn't the kind to take his fate lying down.

He was fighting fate with his favorite weapon.

Chili peppers.

The hottest, most pungent and mouth-numbing chili peppers known to man. With that powerful pepper, he could make a thermonuclear hot sauce that would sell like pancakes and give plumbers throughout New Mexico work for weeks. He'd make thousands to pay off his debts and then some!

But the peppers weren't ready yet. The wrinkles weren't enough.

With enough sun, soil and sustenance, Vesper's peppers would take the State by storm.

If only he had enough time.

Vesper's phone, a hardy old Nokia device, buzzed with a text message. Then another one. And two more. Four texts in quick succession. His creditors wanted to know where their money was.

He might not live to see another day.

Vesper's heart beat hard against his chest. He didn't have anything else to sell - no more fresh meat to throw at his ravenous creditors.

The time for caution was long gone.

Spurred by impending doom, Vesper pocketed his phone and hopped out of bed. He barged out of his trailer and marched towards his potted chili plants to give his spicy fruits a second glance.

Vesper leaned close to the plants and winced. Even though he wore glasses, the pungency of the peppers strained his eyes. The distinct smell of the chilies made his mouth water out of fear. He licked his dry lips, picked one of the wrinkly red chilies and made peace with his fate.

"Here goes nothing!" He cried out into the wilderness and threw the entire chili pepper into his mouth, "FOR THE VESTIES!"

A brief moment of fruity sweetness filled his mouth. Then, in the blink of an eye, the vicious, intense heat flooded his entire body. His back arched back and he fell down onto the dusty ground. He writhed in the dirt, his mouth ajar as he gasped for air and saw his life flashing before his eyes.

In his hysterical thrashing, Vesper thought that he saw somebody watching him.

"Calli-senpai...?"

That afterimage of the grim reaper, however, faded away with the swirling New Mexico sand.

When Vesper came to, he was still in the mortal world. He was lying sprawled out on the ground beside his potted pepper plants. His mouth was sore and the fire that ravaged his throat was not just dull numbness.

Vesper's peppers were ready.

Still lying down on the ground, Vesper took out his old Nokia phone and made a call. He brought the phone close to his ear and croaked.

"Dez. Get over here. We need to cook."

The End