The Burden Of Her Arms (Loki/Sigyn)

Afterword

A word on the characters

I usually do little author's notes letting you know what I'm thinking and they sometimes come to be pretty long. So I decided to leave most of them for the end.

This book didn't turn out as I planned. They rarely do, now that I think about it. I had wanted this to be a romance, as that's what I tend to stick with. But as I considered Loki's character and his actions, I realized this was no where near a romance. Yes, there are romantic moments, but can we call this a romance when the main relationship is entirely unhealthy?

Loki loves Sigyn, that I can assure you of. But he's selfish, malicious, and unstable. He can't be trusted. He hurts Sigyn time and again and apologizes every time but does that make it any better? Personally, I don't like Loki as he is in this story. He's a terrible person and Sigyn deserves better.

Sigyn, all the same, has some of her own flaws. She's stubborn and quick to assumptions. She's easily taken advantage of and has no idea of her worth.

Speaking of flawed characters, Odin, in my mind, was usually just a bad father. He was a good King as far as I could see. This time, I realized, as I mixed myth and movie, that Odin is a hypocrite, a coward, and a murderer by association. Granted, any King that fights a war is a murderer but Odin agrees with Skadi to kill the twins. I mean, come on. It's not bad enough he killed Narfi but he has to tie Loki down with his entrails? Seriously? As a person, I find Odin disgusting. But I do love a flawed character so I can't hate him too much.

And last but not least, my favorite character: Okoro. It should be mentioned, Okoro is an name of Igbo origins and Tendaji is Swahili but their language is Yoruba ("Pele o" being "hello" and "nibi" means "here.") He wasn't supposed to be a major character, believe it or not. He was just Reifr's quiet son who would unexpectedly supply guidance one time but otherwise, he was just a part of Reifr's life and would leave after his death, never to be heard from again.

But I got caught up in him. I loved his faith especially. It was leading Sigyn astray but it was meant with so much love and hope that I couldn't find fault with him. He became her pillar all on his own.

Of course, Loki is a jealous lover. No matter what he himself felt, Okoro became a threat to Loki's desires the moment he hugged Sigyn. But I never intended for him to love her. At first, it was a deep, platonic love.

Still, I didn't totally succeed in keeping it that way. Okoro did, in the end, despite his marriage, come to love Sigyn in a romantic way. He lost her because he didn't have the courage to fight for her. I didn't want to write in a scene where he'd confess that because it seemed unnecessary to the plot.

So that was that. I would delve into Angrboða but honestly, even I don't understand her.

As you can see, I love analyzing characters and this time I actually gave them all some decently developed personalities so I thought I'd share. Anyway, that's all! I really enjoyed writing this one. I know I say that every time, but I did. It was my third try at writing grief and I think I did a better job. Thanks for reading!