How to quit being a cheater?
1. Understand that there is a problem
Since you are here then you have identified the problem and you want to resolve it. Congrats on taking the first step!
2. Realize the consequences of your actions
This means the people you end up hurting, most especially your lover. There are those who work hard for their relationships and have done nothing wrong deserving of being cheated on. They only have love for you, so consider them. You may think that you are doing wrong and so only hurting yourself, but that’s not true. It hurts them as well…. maybe more than you. As a human being, if you can think before acting, then you are likely to make the right decision.
3. Challenge yourself not to cheat or have the guts to break it off
It’s easier to do things that are wrong then vice versa especially when maybe there is the thrill of, they won’t find out, and the thought that: If they don’t know, then no one gets hurt, but it doesn’t make it right. You want to be bold, then do right by your partner even if you think ‘Cheating is better than hurting them by breaking it off’. In reality, you would do them and yourself a service because then you can’t be accused of being a cheat.
The hurt- It would hurt less for you to tell the truth. At least, the conversation would go: ‘I am sorry, Rose, but we need to break things off.’ ‘Why?’ ‘I just don’t think it’s working out. It’s not you….’ ‘Okay, I hope you find what you’re looking for.’’ Can we still be friends.’ ‘Sure.’ As supposed to ‘Friends!? With you?! Yeah right… forget it!!’
No matter what happens: Pain, tears, anger…You can’t be guilty of breaking things off because sometimes relationships just don’t work and everyone knows that.
4. Learn about what you want
Don’t enter relationships till you learn who you are and what you want from life and in relationships, and how those connect to where you’re going, your path, then you can see if you are compatible with your partner and what sort of a relationship this will be. Open relationship? Multiple spouses? It’s always better to make things clear so both partners understand what constitutes cheating. You need to communicate and not be afraid to be vulnerable because if you find a safe space that makes you happy with your person, then you would wonder: Why would I want to ruin that for myself?
5. Find out why such impulse
Well perhaps the obvious is to find out why I act like this? Talk to someone. Delve into your past and if you really have such impulse, then consider an expert for help. If you can pick up on your patterns, then you can analyze your cheating history, connect them, get to the root and squash the problem.
6. Look into the future
Ask yourself: Where is all this cheating taking me? What’s the benefit? What is the point? Do you want a family someday? If so, you have to learn; let your vision for the future motivate you. You will have kids someday and you will be their role model. Don’t make them be like you or find what you do acceptable, or worse is to learn that a cheating spouse is okay.
7. Avoid encouraging yourself
Perhaps you have friends that pump you up to cheat as some sort of game. Draw the line and know when to cut them off when you need to. Maybe you watch certain stuff that rile you up, then stop…If you are looking for something that you can’t get in your relationship, then figure it out. Don’t be a coward, selfish or take the easy way out. Is it that you flirt or google your eyes at an outside party, and it feels good that you are wanted, then stop encouraging yourself or playing that person. You have to find satisfaction in yourself and the person you’re with.
***At the end of the day, if you have relationship problems, then figure things out before cutting things off. Cheating or involving an outside party only means you have a problem even if it stemmed from your partner; it becomes that you did something very wrong. So, find happiness in yourself and in your relationship. If you don’t have that, then why are you in it? Quit it! Quit being a cheater. ***
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