King of Queens (a Nas Story)

FORTY NINE

Gia | December 1996

I watched Nasir sleep peacefully on the hammock outside. The weather in Tulum, Mexico was warm and humid. The complete opposite from New York.

His bandana was tied around his temples as his budding curls sprouted from underneath it. He was shirtless and wearing swim trunks as he napped underneath the blazing sun.

Destined was asleep on his dad's chest, wearing his swim trunks also. They had spent the entire morning swimming in ocean that was right outside of our private villa.

I snapped photos of the two of them sleeping with my Polaroid camera and placed it back inside of my purse. I walked inside of our villa and looked around at our clothes scattered over the bed we shared.

It was Nasir's idea to book a family vacation. He told me he had never been on one before. He told me he wanted to make memories with us and to have pictures and videos he could look back on with Destined as he got older.

I looked down at my hand and gazed at my engagement ring. All of the emotions and memories flooded me at once. Looking back on everything Nasir and I had been through in almost four years, we had grown as a couple and as individuals.

He was still that chipped tooth guy kicking rhymes on Vernon's 40 side, but more mature now. A father, an aspiring business man, a poet, and an amazing man. But, he has a hard time accepting things. He's more of a giver than a receiver.

He loves books. He likes to expound on what he's learned and can talk my ear off about it for hours. And I'll let him. He's attentive yet cold at times. It's not on purpose, it's just his nature to be literal and it comes off harsh.

He's a man's man. He's always looking after his people and making sure they're taken care of. It there isn't room at the table, he'll make room. That's the code he follows.

I reviewed the qualities about Nasir in my mind, almost like a checklist. I heard my dad's voice from the letter he left me. Telling me to marry a man that's book and street smart. A man that doesn't need to be told twice, only once.

That's Nasir to me.

I stood in the doorway, watching my boys sleep. The waves crashing near the hammock sounds soothing from here. Watching them sleep brought tears to my eyes.

I wiped them away swiftly with the stroke of my thumb. I thought about all of the people we lost to get to this moment. All of the truths we uncovered to get to this moment. The heartbreak. The reconciliations. The forgiveness.

He told me that it wasn't going to be an easy journey. He warned me how dangerous this shit was going to get. And man, did we get ourselves into some dangerous shit.

Looking back on it, we were so young. Just nineteen years old. Rushing into a relationship and making our son not even three months into dating. But, im grateful for the path we chose to take together. Destined changed our lives for the better.

Being apart from Nasir for that long after the incident in Miami made me realize that I didn't want to do this life shit with anyone else. Even when I tried to move on. He came to the same conclusion shortly after.

Our families are an integral part of each others lives now. Relationships are being mended because of our son. We've elevated mentally since we've first met. But of course, there's still more work to be done.

I stepped out onto the stairs that lead down to the private beach entrance from our villa, where Nasir held Destined over his chest and in his arms.

With misty eyes, I walked over to them and kissed them gently on the forehead as they both didn't move a muscle. If it was one thing about Destined, he looked like his father and spoke like his mother.