Her First Love || Taehyung Fanfiction

Chapter 22:: I love you

Author's POV: 

Taehyung would have to go through surgery next month if he wanted to survive but the chances were low. He didn't want to lose you. He wanted to live, to love, to enjoy. 

But seeing the hope in your eyes was making him anxious. What if he didn't make it? He would never want you to stop loving him but the way you looked at him with eyes full of love, your shy smile and rosy cheeks—everything made him realize how loved he was. And the concern in your eyes from the past times also roamed in his mind. Maybe, he had to do something for now. Something to make you love him a little less if that would help you hurt less. 

As you both stood in front of your house, you grinned at Taehyung, fixing the messy locks on his forehead. He didn't want time to pass by. He noticed the focused pout on your face and your wondering face as you fixed his locks, staring into his eyes afterwards. 
Gulping, you backed away and smiled at him. 
"You look good with your forehead exposed." You smiled. He nodded and looked down, smiling. 
"Y/N." He spoke. 
"Yes?" 

He took a deep breath, wondering how you'd react to his words. Was he doing the right thing for you? 
"Should we... break up for the time being?" He noticed how you stared at him blankly, tilting your head. You were processing his words. But to his surprise, you started chuckling.
"Is that a new prank? Come on, I'm not a fool." You frowned but he sighed, blinking away his tears. Should he play along? 
"I'm... Y/N... I'm serious." He said, swallowing the lump in his throat. You frowned, your face becoming serious. Your heart was thumping in your chest seeing his serious expression. The tears he was blinking away weren't unnoticed by you. But why was he saying that?

"Why though? What are you even saying?" You asked in a lower voice. 
"I... think I need some time alone... it's... not your fault at all, okay? I just... a few months? At least a month... I need time." He said. You looked at him and said, "Are you going somewhere?"
"Yeah... but besides that, I need time away from this... everything."
"You need time away? Then, it's okay! I won't bother you... if you're away and want to take a break. That's completely fine! I can wait. When you come back... maybe, when you're okay again... it'll be fine!" 

"I don't want you to wait. If I come back, we can... date again."
"We're not just dating, we're best friends! Are you going to break a literal friendship? What on earth-" You let out a gasp in disbelief. You frowned at him and asked, "Are you okay? Is something wrong? You can tell me." 
He shut his eyes, shaking his head. He would've told you something rude to chase you away but he couldn't. He couldn't bear to see your hurting face. 
"Just... 2 months... it's a long time. You wouldn't even... be able to keep up with those feelings anymore." He said. You looked down, wondering what he meant. You smiled a little through your tears and said, "Is it because you think I'm obsessed with you? I know I confessed to you that day but... it's not how you're thinking. It's... I mean... if you're uncomfortable, I'm sorry." 

He could feel his heart breaking with your words. It wasn't it. All he wanted to do was shoo you away. So, you'd at least move on from him. If he never returned, he could imagine your hurt. He knew you.

"No... it's just... I just don't want to date you anymore." He said. He didn't have to say that at all but also had to. He knew you wouldn't budge unless he hurt you. It pained him to see the blank look on your face.
"You don't mean it." You said. 
"I don't... I feel stuffed up... you know. I didn't know I'd feel this way but I do... I need time." 
You looked at him, feeling random emotions making a tornado inside of you. You took a deep breath and nodded, "Alright. If you... say so." 
"But I'm not mad at you, okay? If you're done doing whatever you are... and come back, we can be together again. I'll wait for you. I promise." You said.