Emotional Boys 1990

14

A.N. Get ready to be mad

I don't know why I'm doing this.

I feel insecure, and now I'm fucking knocking on Kim's door.

She's so much fucking smarter than me, she makes me feel completely inadequate in comparison. She should be with someone who likes what she likes and I just know that when she goes to university, she'll find a guy that is everything she could ever want.

I'm just a fucking high school dropout, chasing a dead-end rap career that she must only see as a sex toy or something. What fucking value do I hold for her?

As much as I hate to admit it to myself, I think Kim's correct. Esdeath is too smart to be with me, and she's probably got someone who she's interested who's actually smart and into her whole stock market shit.

"Marshall...? I'd like to say I'm surprised" she smirks, leaning on the door frame before standing up properly again, moving out of the way to let me in.

Kim is simple, when we're together, she doesn't challenge me, I'm in full control.

I love Esdeath, we've got a great thing going, but it won't realistically last, so I...

I've got to talk to Kim and see what her plan is...

"I need to talk to you..." I choke out, walking inside slowly and refusing to look her in the eyes, taking a seat on her couch.

"I'm sure you do..." she grins, fully enjoying this moment.

Her cocky behaviour is ticking me off, but if I was in her shoes, I'd be acting pretty cocky too.

"Drink..?" She offers, going over to her mothers liquor cabinet and grabbing a bottle of Bacardi, fully aware it's one of my favourites.

I bite my lip, slightly annoyed but also experiencing a weird feeling of familiarity.

Kim is just familiar. She's known me for a couple of years, when I was going through the most. Not only that, but she's having my kid. Maybe there is something for me here with her that I won't ever get with Esdeath.

I need to think realistically, and with what Proof said to me, even some of Kim's words ringing in my ears, I just feel like Kim is the safer way to go.

"Uh- yeah, sure..." I accept, watching her pour me a glass.

"Well, get talking..." she edges on, voice laced in excitement.

"I don't think me and Esdeath are gonna work... I mean... I like her, but she's too- intense. She's always talking about shit I don't get, stocks and- really niche things in the economy- I won't get too into it. Point being, I just don't think we're a good match, plus she's going to university in New York at the end of the month. She's gonna find someone else there, the relationship is practically dead in the water... But... But with you, we're good together, sure we fight every once and a while and we take a break from each other, but I think that's just a part of relationships- I... also want to be a part of this kids life. I hated that my dad walked out on me, I felt unloved- I feel- to an extent- even unloved now. So I don't want to do that for my future kid..." I blabber to her, watching her cross her hands over her chest and give me a soft smile, eyebrow raising slightly. She's definitely pleased with this turn of events.

She saunters over, placing the glass in my open hand and taking a seat on the couch right beside me. Our thighs touch, her hand bringing itself to my arm, rubbing it softly, making me subtly nervous.

She's younger than me by two years, but that hasn't ever change how attracted I am to her. Esdeath is mature, well put together... sexy.

Kim has this innocent, doe eyed, impression. I can't help but find it hot.

I just want to get on top of her-

Fuck.

"I know I got really angry with you... but I was only so mad because I knew that we had so much more than what you and Esdeath could... We're meant for each other, Marsh..." she coaxes, the hand that was previously on my arm slowly making its way to my thigh.

"Uh- Kim- I agree with you but... I don't think we should uh"

I can't in my right mind do this without breaking things off with Esdeath first... or thinking things out better... but I don't know if I have the wherewithal to stop it.

Her hand goes further up my thigh, massaging me in a way that my makes my mind weak. All I want to do is give in.

"Marshall, please... I've missed you so much, no one can please me like you can..." she whispers in my ear, pressing kisses to my ear lobe, jaw, and trailing to my neck.

"Fuck..." is all I groan, turning my body and pushing her down, looking at her tits, shown off well in her perfectly fitting bra and tight v-neck crop top.

She pulls at my shirt, doing her best to attempt taking it off.

"I got it" I assure her, pulling it up over my head and tossing it across the living room. I spare no time undoing the knot on my sweat pants and prying them off frantically.

"Fuck, you clearly missed me" she admires, drawing a finger along the outline of the boner, confined by my boxers. The smile tugging at her lips just makes me want to kiss her lips, imagining they're just as soft as I remember them.

Shit.

This feels so wrong but so god damn right.

The heat between us just feels natural... familiar... good...

"You don't need a condom, I'm already pregnant" she giggles, tugging at the elastic of my boxers eagerly.

"Shit..." I moan, my dick finally able to relax properly when released.

She tugs her panties to the side, exposing her pussy to me.

Fuck, I'm about to make a huge mistake...