Meeting my Twin

Chapter 14

Quote of the Chapter:

"Those who think they're crazy enough to change the word are the ones who do."

Here's Chapter 14 Enjoy!

Reagan's POV

"Are you ready honey?" Niki asked as we were about to walk through the doors to the church. It was Saturday, yesterday was calling hours which were hard, but today will be harder.

"As ready as someone attending both their parents funerals at once can be," I shrugged holding back tears.

After a second of hesitation, we opened the back door and the few people who were already were there turned to us.

We were greeted with, I'm sorry for your losses, and I know how it feels, but in reality they didn't know exactly how I felt, they may have lost people in their lives but not both their parents at the same time, at least that I'm aware of. They don't know how it feels, to feel so alone and to feel this deep pit in the bottom of my stomach, to just want to disappear, to just need to feel some kind of pain to feel human because I can't feel. (A/n if you think of this like cutting please know it is NOT the answer, if you feel like you wanna cut or wanna cut again or for the first time, please don't do it and message me. It would probably be my fault for putting this part in the book, I just thought it might help some people to be able to relate) All I feel is numbness. They don't know how that feels, do they? I guess maybe they do. I think we all feel that way sometime, you know. So lonely and all alone when in reality there are millions of people like us. All feeling the same pain but just in our own ways.

"Raegan," Niki nudged me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Huh," I replied dazed

"You alright?" She asked carefully.

I nodded my head slowly like a little kid comprehending instructions, trying to process them and reply at the same time. Am I okay? All I can do is nod, because sometimes that's all you can do.

After the service everyone came by and hugged me and the rest of my family which included my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and Niki, since she's like a sister. After everyone went through the line the coffin bearers grabbed the coffins and put them in the funeral cars to take to the grave yard. I rode with the Griers. After about a 10 minute car ride we arrived at the grave yard. We had our graveyard service, and everyone shared the great memories they had with them. After the service everyone started to slowly leave.

"Can I stay for a little bit to have sometime alone?" I asked Elizabeth softly.

"Of course honey, we will be in the car," Elizabeth replied in a kind voice.

After a few minutes, the grave guys started to lower the coffin into the ground.

"Are you sure you wanna be here for this?" He questioned.

I nodded solemnly and said, "I need to try to get closure, it doesn't seem real," I replied as a year rolled down my cheek. And another and another until I was full out sobbing. By this time, my dad's coffin was under the ground and they were starting to lower my mom's. After they had hers lowered, they started to fill them with dirt. That's when I really lost it. I was sobbing harder, to the point where I couldn't breathe, it felt like my lungs were going to collapse. I felt an arm around me and was startled until I realized it was Nash. He just held me and let me sob into his sholder.

"Its not fair," I kept saying and he would just hold me tighter and tell me he knew.

After 15 minutes of sitting there with both of us crying, the gravediggers told us if we wanted we could toss some dirt on the graves if it would help, i tossed some in my dad's hole (A/N I don't know if they let you do that nowadays or what but yeah) then my mom's, whispered a faint goodbye to both of them and walked back to the car.

A/N

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