She and I

19/09/22

It's her again. 

We're at lunch, eating food from the canteen. 

I sit on top of a table that's randomly in the middle of the canteen, and she sits beside me. 

Nothings happened between us after that day. She hasn't mentioned it, or brought it up. I'm glad she hasn't brought it up to be honest. I'll be glad if she even forgot. But she probably hasn't. I wouldn't too honestly, if I were in her shoes. Especially if a girl confessing her feelings to me. I would remember that day for the rest of my life. 

She sits besides me and zones out. 

"What boy are you thinking of?" ask one of my friends. 

She's brought back to reality, and she laughs awkwardly at the question she's been asked.
I stand up to go throw away some of my rubbish. As I come back to sit down, she's sitting at my spot. I decided I should just stand. 

The I hear the question again, but more louder this time. 

"WHAT boy are YOU thinking of?" she asks.

There's a long pause. The silence is loud. 

"I...I don't like guys" she exclaims.

I look out to the other side of the school, acting as if I didn't hear anything they're saying, when I am literally earsdropping in their conversation.

My friend gasps at what she said. "Are you gay?" she asks her. 

She laughs awkwardly at the question. I want to look at her, but I knew if I looked at her, the conversation would end. So I stay still. 

My friend asks her again. "Are you gay?"

"I'm not gay," she responds. 

"If she's says she doesn't like guys, but then says she's not gay, it means she's somewhat bisexual?" I ask myself. "It makes sense though," I say. 

The conversation ends, when the bell rings. 

We walk to class, but all I could think of is what she said. 

"I...I don't like guys"
"I'm not gay"

The words replayed in my mind. 

Is she questioning her sexuality after my confession?

Must be...for sure...right?