FALLING FOR MR J

Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

A few hours and a few bags packed later; we're checking into another hotel. It's one much like the first one we'd checked into. Just like the last time I leave him to sort it all out. I know it's a cliché, but we're down as Mr and Mrs Smith. It's pretty entertaining, actually. I had told him it makes us sound like we're having some kind of affair. He chuckled, of course, only to look at me again with "that" look. Shit, this will be a long few weeks. Maybe he's right though, maybe we have something? He knows me and I know he can take care of me too, but is that enough? Is a life on the run with him better than what I want with Jonathan? I highly doubt Chester would like it. You know, "things" I like to do in the bedroom department. Yet I also doubt that Johnathan would have me in his life now either, so it's kinda like I'm screwed either way. Johnathan thinks the worst, and Chester knows how I feel about him. He knows I'm in love with Johnathan Beezman.

"Did Elizabeth manage okay with my car?" I ask while we both sit at the dining table. He'd ordered us something to eat after I'd told him I wasn't hungry. But still, he insisted.
"Yeah, his security tried to intervene, but she told them it was a stolen car after showing him her badge."
My entire body jumps, and then my eyes snap up to meet his.
"Please, please tell me you're kidding? Ches, he already thinks the worst of me. This will only confirm I'm a complete fraud. FUCK!"
I'm up and out of my chair, leaving my untouched food behind. Then, while I pace our hotel room floor, he tells me to calm down. Of course, I don't.
"Kat, it was the only way to get it out of there. She was on his property, so there was a good possibility they'd kick up a fuss."
I point out that she could've said she was a friend. I could've just sent her because I didn't want any fuss.
"Hm, yeah, I guess she could've done that. Sorry, you know what she's like. She speaks too quickly before thinking about what she wants to say."
Jesus, Elizabeth! He definitely won't forgive me now. He already thinks I'd set him up. This will definitely make him think I'm like Ste, a thief.
"What does it matter though? It's not like you'll see him again, is it? So-"
Instant pain hits my chest. He's right, of course, but it still doesn't make it less painful. So instead of answering, I just turn away and walk into my room. Once there, I climb into my bed. Yep, you guessed it, that's where I'd stayed for the rest of the night. He knows what he said hurt me. I know this because as soon as I pulled the blanket over my head, I heard him. He's making his way inside, making me hide my face. Without permission, he climbed in. He then pulled me in, pressing my body against his. His free arm wraps around me and once I'm secured, he moves his lips to my neck.
"I'm sorry," was all he said. Hearing him say it brings more tears only because he was just telling it like it is. All night he lay there with me and all I thought about was him. No, not Chester Johnathan. Every time I'd see his eyes more pain would hit my chest, knowing I'll never see them again kills me.
The one man I had truly fallen for, left me. For the first time in about three years, I allowed someone in, but he walked away when I opened up to him. Yeah, I had run away first, but it was with good, reason. It's not every day you fall for somebody. Hell, especially not someone who was your "possible" kidnapper or "killer" for that matter. He said he wanted to get to know me. He wanted to get to know me after he'd taken me to his place. I eventually tell him it was me and he left. He walked out thinking it was all a lie. I'm sorry, but you can't fake that shit. The feelings and the stuff we'd said to each other. You just cannot fake that. Hell, I had told him I was in love with him. Wait... unless he lied to me? What if he lied about how he felt? What if he doesn't feel the same way? Maybe he's made my lie his excuse to bolt? I don't know, and to be honest with you, I'm too scared to know the answer. I'd hate to get stuck being in love, especially with someone who doesn't feel the same. Unrequited love is the worst. I had that with Peterson. Trust me, I don't want it again. It almost killed me to walk away from him. He was my first love, and he loved me, but he wasn't in love with me. I found out the hard way when I'd asked for more and he just walked out. I'd stupidly asked him to marry me and he walked out. Without a word, he just left, just as he did.
That's why this is hurting so much. He'd done the worst thing possible. He walked away when I opened up to him. Maybe I'm just unlovable? Maybe I'm just not "relationship" material? Maybe I'm just destined for a few flings here and there? I don't know, but right now I'm clinging to Chester. This right here may not be what I want, but I'm taking it anyway. I need this. I just need to feel wanted.
"What are you doing Kat?" He asked with a sleepy voice.
"I'm having breakfast, what does it look like?"
"Fuck's sake! It's seven in the morning. What the fuck? You'll make yourself sick."
Now he's running his hands over his sleep-filled face, trying to wake himself up. All while he's doing it, I'm sat on the bedroom floor. I'm there with a bottle of gin and a side of tonic in my hand. He attempts to take it away, of course, but I'm quick. I grab the bottle before he could grab it.
"Don't! Ches, don't fucking touch it. I've had a shitty time of it lately, and I'm damned if I don't drown my sorrows! At the moment, things are shit. I know from here on out it'll get worse, so I'll be living my life the way I want to from now on. Fuck everyone else! I'm seizing the day and starting with a bottle of gin. Cheers."
As I lift the bottle, he's quick to grab the bottle from my hand. Obviously, I attempt to retrieve it, but he's pretty strong. He's able to make my efforts wasted, especially when he pins me down on the bed. I'm trying my best to get out of his hold, but it's no good. He's sitting on me with both of my hands held above my head.
"I won't allow you to do THIS! I won't allow you to go down this fucking road, Kat. Not for him or anyone! You're better than this shit. Now get your shit together! Yes, it's hard, but you need to fight back. You need to stand fucking tall. Even if you're dying inside, you need to keep your head held high. Otherwise, it'll drown you if you allow it."
His blue eyes are practically staring into my soul. Wow, that's the first time he's had to shout at me. Of course, I hear him and I hear what he's saying too, but how can I do that when all I want is him? I want Jonathan. I just want everything to end. I'm tired of hiding and I miss my friends. I miss my old room and I miss my old job.
"I just want it all to be over. Ches, I want my life back. That's all I'll ever want."
He sighed and as his face turns from mad to sympathetic, he rests his head against mine. Seeing it made me close my eyes, especially when I feel more tears come. I'm feeling so emotional right now... too emotional to be in this position with him.
The last time we were in this situation we kissed, but as I've told you it became pretty heated. Only this time, before it gets any further than looking into each other's eyes... his phone chimes. He ignores it though and asks if I want him to answer it.
"This is it, Kat. You want 'normality' in your life? Well, I can give it to you. I can make it 'normal' while still looking out for you. Vincent will be in custody soon. I'm positive about it, but until then we can have 'normal' together. He's made his choice Kat, and he walked away but I'm still here and it's not because it's my job either... baby, you know it. You know, it's more than that. I can help you forget. I can make you happy with me. Just say the word, and I'll be the one to give you everything you need and more. I can give you all the happiness in the world. Along with my word that I'll never hurt you. I can give you a 'normal' happy life one with stability."
Before he can carry on, I ask something that makes his head tilt, obviously confused.
"Can you give more than that? It all sounds perfect, but it's too perfect, Ches."
By now his phone has stopped, but he's still laying over me and still looking deeply into my eyes.
"What do you mean, it's too perfect? Is that even possible?"
"Ches, you know the things Vin had on me? The information and photos,"
He nods, but still, he doesn't move from his position. However, he frees my hands. He then gets himself a little too comfortable between my legs. Now he's pushing against my heat. I don't think he realises what he's doing? Just the feel of it is forcing stuff to happen. I don't want it to, but it is. Of course, I ignore it and carry on.
"The stuff about me and the club, the sub-Dom club... Well, it's true. I went there for a time and..."
"And," he prompts for me to carry on. Then again, when he moves his hand to caress my cheek, he's coaxing me to tell him.
"I was Peterson's sub. He was my master. I liked that life. I still do. As much as I want 'normal' I want to feel, 'owned.' I get off on it. Ches, nothing turns me on more than getting ordered around. Even ordered to strip naked and fuck right there. No matter where it is, I'd have to do it. I-I'm sorry I'm not the one for you. Chester, you want a 'normal' woman, who'll give you a 'normal' relationship."
"You want the go out for meals and come home to make love relationship. The go-to-sleep whilst holding each other until the next day. You'll carry on with your 'vanilla' lifestyle' relationship... Yes, I want 'normal' too, but I want it hard. I want 'rough hard raw sex.' I want to get spanked and dominated while they love me. I want them to love me and only me. Almost to where I'm all they see. So, can you honestly tell me you want that too? Can you honestly tell me you can do that for me, with me? Can you tie me up and bend me over while fucking me? Slapping my arse to the point of pain? To then know when to replace it with the pleasure?"
While saying this, I'm moving my heat against him. He's hard, but I can see the shock in his eyes. I shocked him with what I'm revealing. I'm probably scaring him too, but he needs to understand. He needs to know that I'm not the "perfect girl" he thinks I am.
"Can you order me to do as you wish? Can you order me to touch myself while you watch on? Will you punish me if I'm a bad girl? Can you punish me if I disobey your orders? Or when I come without you telling me to? Can you make me come at your command?"
He's struggling now. He's trying to hold it together, especially since I'm dry fucking him now. I'm staring into his eyes, asking him to answer me. I'm feeling that knowing build. I'm about to find my release, that's when I ask him again.
"Can you stop me from coming, Chester? I can feel it. I'm about to come. If you can stop me, I'll know then you can do this. I know I can train you to be my new master."
I'm going for it now, and he's still struggling to breathe. He's moving with me and then he kisses me, but he's doing the wrong thing. Granted, it feels good, but he needs to stop me.
"You need to order me to stop fucking with you. You need to spank me to stop me. I'm being a bad girl, Chester."
We're kissing, going for it, but still, he isn't listening. He's moving my shorts, pulling them down. I'm tempted to keep going, just to see what he feels like. It's not like I'm with anyone now. I'm free to do as I please, and he feels good. Maybe it's the drink talking? Only I'm past caring now. I've had too much shit to deal with. I deserve to have some fun.
"Ches... Oh fuck. You need to stop me. I-"
"Fuck! Baby, no. I can't. I don't want to stop this. I want to be inside of you. I want to feel your walls pulse around me. Just stop with the messing with my head shit. Please, just let me in."
He's kissing my jaw and my neck. Then he sucks on my nipple through my T-shirt. This made me arch my body into him after he pulls it over my head. I can't help it, especially when he moved his hand to my heat. I end up moving against it.
"Fuck's sake, Ches! You need to order me to stop! I'm about to come. You need to stop me now. I mean, it if you make me cum? Then it's game over. I need a master. I need somebody who can make me beg to allow me to cum. Make me beg. Make me beg you to cum!"
I'm panting now, desperately trying to hold it just to give him time, but he doesn't. No, he can't do it. He's positioning his shaft now, obviously, he can't control me.
"You do this and it's a one-time thing. You won't get to fuck me again. As much as I want you to fuck me right now. I know the outcome will be the same. I want. I need control in the bedroom, Ches. I need it. Hell, I crave it. If you can't order me to do shit, then this is pointless. Now do it. Order me to stop touching myself." I said, reaching down and touching my heat. I'm also moving my fingers over his shaft head. I feel his juices smooth it over my heat.
"Order me to stop, Ches, and you can do as you please to me. Make me your sub and I'll allow you to touch me. You can do as you please anytime you command it. Tell me to stop fucking myself with my fingers. Tell me not to come. Stop me, Chester. Oh fuck. That feels so good. I'm about to come. It's your choice. Watch me fall apart or lose the chance of owning me."
I'm taking hold of his shaft, still daring him to stop me as I position him against my entrance. I'm pushing down, still playing with my nub. I lose it. I completely fall apart. Only as I'm doing so, he rips his body away from mine. He's shouting out a thunderous "FUCK" while I'm still feeling my climax. He's up and pacing the floor, completely naked and hard.
"FUCK SAKE! This isn't you, Kat! What the hell is going on with you? Shit, you're nuts! You're completely fucking crazy! I want to fuck the shit out of you and all you want is for me to stop you from coming? I can't do that! I want inside of you. I want to watch you fall apart with me."
"You still can Ches, just come here. We can get it done together, but you need to own me. Though, the fact you've pulled away tells me you cannot do it. Look at me and tell me to come. Order me to make myself come again. Do it. Do it now."
He's staring at me with complete shock and bewilderment written all over his face.
"Tick-Tock, Ches... last chance. You want me? Then come and own me. Order me to do something. Come and prove to me you can be my master."
He's about to speak when his phone chimed again. We both sigh again. When he reached for it, I stand up and walk past him. I'm completely ignoring his stare. I know it wasn't fair and I shouldn't have done that, but he needs to know what I want and I'm afraid. He just isn't cut out for that lifestyle.
"You see. You say you know me and you say you know me better than anyone else, but you're wrong. Trust me, if you did, then you'd know what to do. Chester, you'd know not to allow me to dominate you."
Before I leave the room, he grabs hold of my wrist. He's stopping me from leaving, looking at me with a maddened glare. He's silently telling me to stay.
"Order me. Make me do it. You want me? Then demand I stay."
I don't care if the person on the other end of his phone can hear me. He's still staring at me. I'm guessing he's listening to whoever's on the line. I end up mouthing my next words, just to see if it makes any difference. I'm turned on to shit right now, but I'm telling him to hang up and fuck me.
"Order me to touch you, and I'm yours."

He's still hard, so when I take hold of him, his eyes are closed. I move my hand over him. But still, he doesn't order me. No, he pulls back and carries on speaking to whoever it is. Chester James isn't cut out for that life. He can't handle me. I'm too crazy for him. I know this now because he's literally got no power over me. He's just too nice. He's too "normal" for me. For some ladies, I'm sure he'd be perfect for but for me he's just too good. I mean, for being a copper you'd think he'd be quite the alpha, but he's not. Well, he is when it comes to his police work. Yet with me, he's too Vanilla. He wants normal-couple-sex. Whereas for me, I want it all. To be honest, though, I doubt he'd come anywhere near Jonathan's standards. I don't think he'd know how to turn my body inside out. I swear I'm not trying to sound like a bitch, but that man owns my body. Hell, I think he always will. One thing I'd realised about this mess was how the same thing happened again. I'd told him about my lifestyle and he backed off. Just like they all do. Well, apart from Johnathan. But still, he walked... even if it was for a different reason.