FALLING FOR MR J

Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

All the while I'm sat here completely stunned. Jacobs and Dawson... I don't remember any documents for Jacobs and fucking Dawson. He told me to send something to them? I know I've only been here a month, but I think I'd remember that name. I don't see him all that often in here, so I think I'd remember him telling me about this. Wow, talk about a frosty change. Why the hell does this hurt? Worse still. Why am I allowing him to treat me like this too? I want to go in there and shout at him just for being a dick, but I don't. No, I hold back just to check out my notes. To which I make sure to thoroughly check them over, including all files and my iPad. Ha, and what do you know, there's fuck all here on Jacobs's and Dawson. So yeah, I said I wouldn't but nobody speaks to me like shit. Hell, especially when I know for a fact he'd given no such order. I don't even knock. I just barge my way in there. I'm storming my way into his office where I find him sat at his desk. He's there, looking through his paperwork. His head snapped up to meet mine after I'd slammed his door shut. I see how angry he's looking too, but I don't care. I'm so mad I'm making sure he sees my anger.

"First off! Don't ever speak to me like that again! Granted, you are my boss but never talk to me like... Like I'm shit! Second, you've not given me any damn fucking file. I've had none whatsoever on Jacobs and Dawson! So, I suggest you go back and look over your notes because I've got shit from you!"
I end that by once again, turning on my maddened heels. I storm my way out, only to turn back again. I'm shocking him again when I ask when he'd placed the request on my desk, but silence greets me. It's like he hasn't a fucking clue.
"Yeah, I thought so. I suggest you call your ex-secretary! She can help you find the notes! They're probably stuck to her ass!"

I emphasise my last words. Basically, I'm calling him out. I'm convincing myself he'd fucked her. Oh God, my jealousy is so fucking crazy right now. Once I finished my rant, I leave his office again. When I reach my desk, I gather my things. I've had enough. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see it's time to clock out anyway. Thank fuck for that too, because if I have to stay here any longer? I think I'd end up kicking his arse. I'm feeling so mad right now. Sadly, I'm not even sure of what part I'm mad about. I mean, I'm not sure if it's what we'd done? Or the way he'd spoken to me coupled with what's been going on with me? But I'm feeling so many emotions running through me. Crap, it's all crumbling around me. All-day I've had thoughts of him taking me again. Only jealousy, like no other, slams into my head. More so when I see him with beautiful women, but now I'm having thoughts of his ex-secretary. They're filling my head and driving me insane. Fuck's sake! I'm now having thoughts of them together on his desk. I'm having crazy thoughts thinking I'm just a toy. I'm just a distraction. I'm nothing serious. I'm worthless, just like how it was with Peterson. The way he'd spoken to me after what we did together. Well, frankly, it fucking hurts. Yeah, he's my boss. He has a right to be mad... only if I've fucked up, but not this time. No, I know I've had no such request, so for him to speak to me like that - I'm sorry, I won't put up with it. I won't damn it! Not from him or anyone else for that matter. Master or boss, I don't care. I won't ever be spoken to like that. Not ever. Bastard! He has my head all over the place. I don't know if I'm coming or going. What have I done? What have I gotten myself into? I knew it! I knew I should've just stayed away. I should never have taken this bloody job. Maybe I should move on? You know, find another place to work? Now I know what they mean when they say "never mix business with pleasure."

Minutes later, I'm waiting for the building's lifts. Yet while I wait, I'm thinking about what to do for the best. I'm impatiently waiting for the lift to arrive on my floor. I say "impatiently" because I desperately need out of here. Bollocks! I'm so mad. I'm angry with myself and him... not only him, but the prick that'd broken my figurine, but mostly with him. I'm looking down at the remnants left of it in my hand. It's broken in half and the more I look at it more tears flow from my eyes.