Only Ocean

when we were reunited

It didn't feel like it but hours had passed, and without realizing it was 7:29 and I was still at my desk writing.

That was until I got a text from Alex asking if he could come earlier and I was quick to reply with a yes still oblivious of my current state.

'Okay, I'll be there at 7:30 instead'

I was glad he said the time, because if he hadn't I wouldn't have checked the clock.

It would have been better if I had prepared and everything but before I hadn't seen anything i needed to get ready, other than my living room, bathroom, kitchen, dining room, bedro-

Oh shit my whole house.

After thinking about it, I was quick to get up and go around the house cleaning up things I felt needed to be straightened up.

Until it came down to my outfit, I wasn't too fond of fashion. Though I'd find people complimenting my outfits while I'm out at groceries stores or a library.

Even at record stores, I'd have people say nice things about my appearance but I never put any effort into my outfits.

Tonight, I decorated myself with a lilac skirt and a white long sleeve, white see through stockings that went all down to me feet with flowers along the side of it. No shoes because I didn't see it necessary.

I thought of prepping food but came to a decision of 'snacks are fine' and was almost finished with prepping the house before I heard 3 knocks.

He's here.

Oh shit he's here, already? It's only been like 5 minutes, even I could tell without checking the clock.

This'll be like when he first hung over my house, it's no big deal I've know him for years. It's just felt like forever.

Another few knocks are made and I'm rushing to the door now, preparing myself to open it and get over the nervousness running throughout my body at the moment.

A smile appeared on Alex's face as soon as I opened the door. Rudely, I'd eyed him. He looked different, and his hair was way longer than before he left. He looked so good.

I like it.

"Uhm, come in." Stepping aside to let him in, I noticed a bag in his hand.

I was hesitant to sit on the couch next to him but eventually I did, I'm glad I was smart enough to put low music on so it wouldn't be too awkward for us. Though the ice has to be broken by words, not music.

"Laura, I-"

"Alex, I just wanna let you know, that I never forgave since you left, and that I'm still upset with you." I spoke with my hands, looking around still nervous about right now.

"I know, I know, Laura. That's why I wanted to come over tonight, to properly apologize and to catch up. I missed you." He sounded genuine and he seemed to carefully choose his words.

"I missed you too, Alex." A smile finally spreading across my face since I'd first saw him again. I don't know why, but his smile made me feel better about everything.

"And, I didn't mean to leave you like that. I just got the news so suddenly and didn't know how or when I was going to tell you, I knew you'd be stubborn and try to come with me, but I knew you hated traveling and was even tired of me going on tour."

I'm guessing Alex was waiting to explain to me, it's making me feel so selfish and I'd never thought about how Alex felt, what he'd been thinking.

I couldn't help but feel bad about it all.

"Alex, I'm sorry. I was only thinking about myself this whole time."

"You had a right too, telling you the day of was stupid of me and I didn't give you time to take it in."

At this point, the awkwardness was out the door and it was just us spilling our emotions out to each other. I'm glad this was happening too, I've had mixed emotions towards him.

Now that Im actually hearing him and his side of the story, I feel incredibly dumb.

This whole time, he was thinking about me and how I felt. I wonder how he doesn't hate my guts right now.

"Look, I don't want this to change anything between us. You're my bestfriend and I want you to be that forever." His body language seemed to change after but I wasn't sure on how to take it.

"It's good to see you again." A new smile grows on his face, seems a hopeful smile.

"Right back at you, Turner."

There was that happiness again, in seeing him again, in us being us again.

*

For the rest of the night, Alex and I had caught up and it was honestly embarrassing for me.

Finding way to say 'I'd grown boring' is extremely hard to do, I just hope I won't have to go through it again.

Alex seemed sympathetic almost the whole time, or more guilty even.

Either way, he made me feel bad for feeling the way I felt all these months. Though, it did feel nice to hear his side of the story instead of just assuming he didn't care.

Eventually, the night came to an end and Alex had to go back to here he was staying.

"Well, I gotta get back to my hotel, but I'm glad we caught up." Alex said standing up and I did the same with a confused expression.

"Hotel? I thought you were like staying with your mom or something, why not stay here?"

That would've sounded a little insane coming out of my mouth if this was just any person, but this Alex. It ain't like he hasn't stayed over before.

He was hesitant to accept thought after a bit of convincing, he agreed and I cheered like a little child.

Laughing at my antics, Alex placed his bags back down and took a seat on the couch again, I followed. This lead on to us talking more.

The hours before of us talking had broken the ice and this just seemed like a friendly conversation with constant jokes.

"You've definitely gotten funnier since I left, maybe it got better after I left. I was probably holding you back from a lot of things."

"No, not at all. I mean, things have been fine, I just mean you weren't holding me back from anything."

I take a second before speaking again, I need to choose my words carefully.

"Alex, you actually helped me. You making me go out almost every night made me less awkward, without you here it wasn't the same."

I notice his face light up, something about his change and I really can't frame what. I just wish the night hadn't ended as quick as it did.