Only Ocean

When it peeks up on me

Listen to the song above.

I stayed the night with her, we slept in her bed cuddling.

We used to cuddle all the time when she wasn't feeling well, I really missed these moments with her. There's a lot I miss about us and it's my fault that it all grew dull.

"Alex?" She called out to me facing the opposite way.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry."
"I know." I kissed her forehead, and for the first time in forever, we laid silence.

*

I shouldn't have watched her so intensely, I just couldn't stop looking at her since we first saw each other again.

If I knew how bad me leaving impacted her so much I never would have, just stayed with her those 4 months.

It's making me rethink going back on this tour. How would it be with me gone for 4 more months? I can't risk anymore distance between Laura and I but, I knew that this tour would take up all my time.

I didn't want to miss it but..

*
LAURA

I woke up alone, again.

I wasn't sure what time it was though, and the sun beamed through my barely opened curtains.

I had a dream that Alex came over and we made up and he cuddled with me like we used to, one of my best dreams I've had in a while.

Throwing on my house coat and slipping on matching slippers, I went into the kitchen and it kind of smelled like faint smoke.

Turn towards the living room I saw a head full of hair and got scared shitless when he turned around.

Yes, it was Alex.

"Holy shit." My hand flew to my chest as a smile appeared on his face. "You're awake!"

"Yeah.." I huffed taking a seat at my island as he stood to his feet.

"I tried making you breakfast, but I guess cooking was never my thing. We could always go out to eat though, There's this new restau-"

His phone rung and he was quick to answer.
"Hello? Hey, good morning. No, just over a friends house" He turned away from me.

"I stayed the night, it's the old friend I told you about. Yeah, Laura."

Who was he talking to? I don't mean to be nosey, Im merely curious.

"Well, she's not just a friend, she's my best-friend." He shifted back to me and winked with a smiled before turning back.

I smiled momentarily, watching him, still.

"Yeah, you too. Alright, love you." He hung up and slid his phone in his pocket, taking a big sigh he turned back to me and I could tell there'd been some switch of emotion.

"So, up for breakfast?"
"Um, actually, I can't."
"What? Why?"
"I— have to catch up on writing. Yeah, I've missed a shit ton of writing."

I honestly think I'll give this up and just work some place like the library, the money I saved up is starting to run out and writing for these newsletters aren't getting me paid much to get by.

"Oh. Well, I could stay here with you. Can go and just get us breakfast."
"No, no. I don't want to bother you-"
"It's not a bother. Laura, let me get us breakfast, alright?"

I wanted to deny him again.

The look on his face was so sympathetic but desperate, I still did want to spend time with him I just didn't know now.
It's just..him..

"Okay." I say with a smile that he returns.

"Alright. I'll be back soon!" He turns and grabs his coat off of the coatrack slipping his keys out of the pocket before leaving.

And I was alone again.

So, I paced my apartment a bit. I decided to change into a long fitted grey sundress with white socks. I put my hair up in a ponytail and messed around with makeup.

I actually have used it in a while and I don't know what brought it into me but I felt like using it today.

I'm interrupted by 3 that was followed by 3 more that seemed uncoordinated, who knocks 6 times and like that?

"Okay! I'm coming!" I say leaving my bathroom and switching off the light.

I open the door to 4 exciting faces.

"No fucking way! It's you fucking jokesters!"
I pulled them all in for a hug like someone's proud dad.

"It's been forever!" It's felt like years when it's only been months, I've missed these three like siblings.

"Alright, alright! Let me go, you git!"Matt protested with a smile while Jamie and Nick fought their way out. Alex stood smiling.

Oh, this is gonna be a time.