Parallel Lives

Chapter 17: Anger - Jacob

(More sad stuff here along with anger, like the title says. I hope you guys will enjoy)!

I sat there at the funeral home, dreading every minute of it. My mom was sitting in front of Dad's casket, not taking her eyes off of it. She wanted to be left alone. The only time people were with her was to offer their condolences. I was sitting with my unit, who had all come to support me and Sabrina.

Sabrina walked in eventually. She noticed me and walked over, hugging me tight. I made sure not to hug her tight, since her ribs were still broken. "Hey Bri." I greeted her. She gave me a small smile. Tommy walked over to her and hugged her. "You ok?" Tommy asked. Sabrina shrugged. Tommy nodded and smiled, sympathetically. "Where's Mom?" Sabrina asked, turning to look at me. "Over there." I answered, pointing to where she sat. She nodded and went to walk over when I grabbed her arm. "Be careful, Bri. She wants to be left alone." I warned her. Sabrina nodded and continued making her way over.

I watched as Sabrina slowly made her way over to Mom. She sat down beside her. I expected Mom to cry and hug Sabrina, since she hasn't seen her in a week and a day. But instead, she just sat there, continuing to stare at Dad's casket. I could see Sabrina's lips moving, but I couldn't tell what she was saying. I saw Mom's lips moving, but I didn't know what was being said either.

All of a sudden, Mom quickly stood up and stared right down at Sabrina. Instead of sadness, she gazed at her angrily. "Just leave me alone Sabrina! You don't even deserve to be here! You are absolutely worthless at your job! You couldn't even save your father and sister! And now because of you, they're dead! Jacob could've saved them, but because of you, he had to fucking stay behind to watch over you!" Mom screamed. Everyone was silent and stopped their conversations as they stared at the commotion. Sabrina stood up from her chair.

"Mom, I didn't even know they were there. Dad told me that he was running errands. I would've gone up to save them if I knew." Sabrina spoke in a wavering voice. I knew she was about to cry. "That's a lie! You knew!" Mom shrieked. Shortly after, a loud slap was heard. I ran over and pulled Sabrina away from Mom and shoved her behind me. Donny had rushed over and pulled Sabrina behind him, standing behind me. "Mom, enough." I demanded. She ignored me and stared at a crying Sabrina, who was holding her red cheek in pain. "I wish it was you that died! Not John and Angela. They were alive longer than you were! Why did they have to die and you didn't?!" Mom yelled. "Mom!" I shouted. "You don't think I wished for the same thing?!" Sabrina screamed.

Everyone gazed at Sabrina in shock, including Mom, who looked at her with wide eyes. "Sabrina, I'm so sorry." Mom whispered, beginning to walk over to her. Sabrina stepped out from behind Donny, glaring at our mother. "I didn't cause the planes to hit the towers! I didn't cause the towers to collapse! I didn't cause Dad and Angela to go to the North Tower! I didn't cause any of this shit! Be angry at the terrorists who did it! Be angry at Dad and Angie's fucking bosses for having them come in on their day off! Not me! You know, I do agree with you on one thing. I wish it was me that died! I deserved to die! I'm not important!" Sabrina thundered in hiccuping sobs. Mom gazed at her with a guilty and apologetic look on her face.

"Baby, no. I didn't mean that." Mom sniffled. "Oh bullshit Mom! You meant every word of that!" Sabrina yelled. She looked at Dad's casket where his body lay, tears streaming down. She walked forward and looked down at him. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry I let you down." Sabrina whispered. With one final look at our mother, Bri turned and walked out the funeral home. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I hissed, rushing out the funeral home.

I ran out and saw Sabrina walking away. "Bri!" I called. She turned to look at me. "Get away Jacob. Get away before Mom yells at you too." Sabrina cautioned. "No Sabrina. I need to talk to you about what you just said." I insisted. Sabrina stopped in her tracks and turned to look at me. "Yes, I did mean that." Sabrina revealed. I sighed, tearing up. Just last night at dinner I was thankful that Sabrina was still alive and I was able to hear her giggles again. And now, Sabrina was wishing to be dead instead of Dad and Angela.

"Bri, I can't live without you. You're the only sibling I have left. Please don't think that." I pleaded. Sabrina looked down as tears filled her eyes. "I'm sorry Jacob. Survivor's guilt is a bitch." She shared, turning to walk away. "Where are you going?" I asked, worriedly. "Home. I'm not gonna kill myself so don't worry about that." Sabrina answered, walking away.

I sighed. I know Sabrina is not gonna be the same, especially after what Mom just said. I went back inside the funeral home. "How is she?" Eddie asked. "Upset." I answered. "Can you blame her? Her own mother just told her she wished she was dead instead of her father and sister." Tommy said. Chief Peterson walked over to my mom, who sat there in tears. I was close enough so I heard what was being said, unlike before.

"Mrs. Rossi, your daughter is not worthless at her job. If only you were there to see her. She was the one who knew what had happened to the elevators. She was the one giving ideas to the other high ranking firefighters on what to do. She was the one who helped people safely get out of the building. She almost died in the process. She was very injured but she wasn't focusing on herself. She was focused on the firefighters in our unit. She was worried about them. Especially our probationary firefighter. He's her best friend. She was worried about him and waited at the firehouse for him even when she was in pain. She was sent to the hospital shortly after he arrived. She had fainted because of her injuries. Sabrina has always been a hard worker ever since she started. So please, don't say Sabrina is worthless when you don't know what she went through." Chief Peterson explained.

I could see Mom had a look of sheer regret on her face. I know anger is one of the stages of grief, but she shouldn't have taken it out on Sabrina. Now, Sabrina is mentally fucked up because she thinks our mother wanted her to die instead. I knew that wasn't true, especially because of how relieved she was when I told her Bri was fine. But Sabrina doesn't know that. I just hope everything can get solved in the end. Now is not the time to be against each other. I know Dad and Angela don't want that. They never did.

(Yeah, that was bad. Depressing and anger all in one. I hope you guys enjoyed this though. Stay tuned for more)!