Covered in invisible scars (suicidal Bakugo)

My True Self

A/N: This is a collaboration. While my dear gem Conote is writing Bakugo's POV, I am doing Kirishima's POV here. 

Bakugo's POV:

I sat in my bed, staring at the wall. I was stuck in a sea of my own thoughts. Thinking about the amount of homework assignments that had been getting piled up over these last few weeks. About my past, the present, and how the outcome of my future might look.

I turned to look at the nightstand next to me. The clock read as 2:30 a.m. Deciding to try and finally get some sleep I roll onto my side and cover myself with a blanket. After about a half an hour of trying to fall asleep I crawl out of my bed and head to the kitchen. Once in the kitchen I made my way over to the charging port where I had left my phone. There were a few notifications on my phone but I didn't bother to open them up.

As I was scrolling through TikTok nothing had really caught my eye. Not until I saw a post mentioning the fact that it was suicide prevention month. I scoffed.

What can people possibly do?

If a person is suicidal then that's their own god damn choice.

They shouldn't be forced to change their way of thinking because it's 'selfish' or 'sinful'.

It's not like anybody has ever been able to persuade me to change my way of thinking.

As sad as it was, I had felt like this for a while now. No matter how happy everybody else was around me I couldn't get past my own thoughts. The thoughts that continuously told me to hurt myself or worse, just end my life all together. The amount of demons that resided in my head was astonishing.

See, you're too weak to even try to get help. Too scared of what might happen.

If you open up to people all they'll want to do is throw you in a mental hospital.

Nobody actually gives a shit about you.

Yeah, just kill yourself already you damn moron. You should've done it ages ago.

I shake my head trying to rid myself of the demons and make them shut up. It worked, for now anyway. At this point I had given up all hope of getting sleep for that night. I head over to the stove and grab the teapot and put water in it.

Was it 3:00 in the morning? Yes. Was I making myself coffee? Absolutely. Coffee at this point is my best friend. Considering the fact that my sleep schedule is complete shit, I've started guzzling coffee down in the morning before, and even during school that way I'm able to think during class. Well, think a little clearer anyways.

No matter what happens during the school day I still wind up feeling depressed and worthless. Sure I was able to get into the hero course at U.A. but ultimately that meant jack shit. It didn't help with my mental health. If anything, it only made it worse. I've been struggling with things like self harming and suicidal thoughts since, as long as I can remember.

When I was little I started hurting myself by doing things like banging my head against walls, digging my nails into my skin, and biting myself as hard as possible. Once I hit around eight I started engraving myself with things like darts and pencils.

At the age of twelve is when it started to get more serious though. That's when I started cutting and burning. When I would cut it would be many cuts all at once, sometimes even overlapping each other. When it came to burning I would just burn over the cuts and scars. One of my favourite things to do was to burn bits of my hair. It was only the ends, not enough for it to really be noticeable. The scent of burnt popcorn almost always followed after the burning.

As I was pouring my coffee into a mug I heard somebody come down the stairs and start to walk over to the kitchen.

Ejiro: Oh hey Bakubro! What are you doing up so late down here?

Me: Minding my business. What about you?

Ejiro: Ah, can't sleep. I thought I'd get something to drink.

Me: Oh, same.

Ejiro: Bro, wait is that coffee?

Me: Um, yeah? Got a problem with it shitty hair?

Ejiro: So you don't plan on going back to sleep anymore?

Me: Bold of you to assume I got sleep.

Ejiro: Then you are coming with me!

Me: And where are you going exactly?

Ejiro: You'll see. I think you will like it!

Me: Mhm, okay. We'll see about that.

Ejiro: By the way, how long?

Me: How long what?

Ejiro: Ah nothing! Come on bro! Let's get out of here!

Me: Na-no speak your mind shitty hair.

Ejiro: First you getting out of this dumb dorm shit.

Me: Ugh, fine. Whatever.

Ejiro: Good! Let's go, I know a way out of here without anyone knowing about it.

Me: Oh yeah? And how did you find out about said way to get out of this place?

Ejiro: Ahm... I need some time to calm down every now and then too, you know. Just don't tell anyone about this place Bro.

Me: We'll see.

I chuckle a bit and a slight smile spreads across my face. Damn, shitty hair really is something else.