Covered in invisible scars (suicidal Bakugo)

Damn Demons

Bakugo's POV:

Why was shitty hair being so nice to me?

What did I do wrong?

Is he trying to make me seem weak?

Is my facade not good enough?

Do I need to become even more of an asshole than I already am to everybody?

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Shit what should I do?

You should kill him.

NO. I am NOT killing him.

Fine then, kill yourself.

Yeah yeah, you've said that a few too many times.

Come up with something new you damn demons.

He doesn't care about you, you know. Nobody does.

Everybody there just tolerates you.

Hell, some can't even do that much.

You're just a piece of shit and a complete and total asshole to everybody around you.

You have no friends nor are you deserving of any.

That one I had to admit, stung really bad. My mind was becoming numb and I wasn't able to think anymore. I started to dig my nails into my skin, trying as hard as I possibly could to make myself bleed. When that wasn't working I started to try and use my nails as tiny little blades. Once again, no blood. I then spotted the coffee mug that I had been using earlier. I grabbed it, poured the coffee out, and then smashed it against a rock. The ceramic mug shattered into hundreds of little pieces.

The moment I had one of the shards in my hand I lifted up my sleeve to reveal hundreds of cuts and scars. Without hesitation I dragged the shard I had across my arm. This process repeated over, and over, and over again. Each cut going deeper and deeper. Drawing more and more blood.

I didn't want to stop. There was no chance in hell that I would want to. Not any time soon. I deserved this. Anybody would agree. The people who said otherwise were just liars.

Before I can actually kill myself I need to torture myself as much as possible.

I mean, it's only fair for the amount of pain and suffering that I've caused for other people.

I mean, look at poor Deku.

He's so broken.

And sad.

He doesn't deserve any of the horrible shit that I put him through.

He's always been so nice and caring.

God, why did I have to do that.

Why did I have to bully him for all those years?

Make him suffer.

And all for what?

The fact that I envied the fact that he didn't have a quirk.

That he wasn't called evil or villainous.

My past actions made me sick. So sick that at this point I feel like killing myself every time I think about it. I genuinely get a feeling in my chest as though it's begging. Begging for me to plunge a knife into my heart and kill myself.

I continue to cut myself without any intention of stopping any time soon. At one point I had started to feel rather tired and dizzy. I didn't care much though. When this happened I just rolled my sleeve back down and started to head back to the school campus. I didn't want to be out here alone having no clue how to get back. It was already becoming harder to see my surroundings due to the fact that my vision was cutting in and out of focus.

I walked slowly through the forest still unsure of where exactly I was supposed to be going. I knew the rough direction of where to go but still didn't have the best idea. I mean after all. I had been dragged out here by that idiot. I wasn't really paying attention to where we were going either. And even if I had been it wouldn't have helped considering my memory is absolute shit.

Ejiro: Bakubro! Good morning!

Me: Mh, oh, h-hi.

It was starting to become hard to stand.

Ejiro: Here, I got you some breakfast and thought I should pick you up from there since it was me who dragged you out there. Sorry for that bro!

Me: I-it's fine K-kiri.

Ejiro: Oh also some more coffee in that termos and in the bag are some other stuffs as well you probably gonna need.

Me: Oh, yo-u really didn't need to do that you k-know.

I was starting to pant and breathing was becoming a bit of a struggle.

Ejiro: ... I am calling in sick for us!

Me: No, I'm f-ine. Just gi-ve me a min-te.

Ejiro: Nope. You my Dandelion have no rights to say a thing in this. Be glad I don't princess carry you to RG!

Me: You wouldn't fucking dare-

Ejiro: You sure! And here we go!