I'm back.
\i'm afraid there will be language. Children look away!
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1. Snape-Where did the poste of headmaster Zefron go?
Umbridge- Don't care for Zac Efron. Taylor Lautner is my man.
Snape- What do you want you horrid bitch?
2. Lupon- Oh shit! You guys are kids! I've got to watch my damn mouth around you little bastards. I'm sorry. Shoot! I've got to watch my damn mouth around you little bastards.
3. Lucius- Why else would you have such a little d?
Draco- It's so small.
Lucius- It's cause you're a fucking elf!
4. Harry- *under invisibility cloak* But Sirius I don't think I'm in any kind of grave danger...
Sirius- WHO. SAID THAT?
*Harry takes off cloak*
Sirius- WHOA! Harry! Jesus!
5. Lupin- There's no way we're losing to Slytherin, Ravenclaw or Jigglypuff!
6. Umbridge- Did you get mah text?
Dumbledore- Yes! I got all nine hundred of them and I'm tired of you clogging my inbox!
Umbridge- Well you didn't text me back.
7. Lucius- You'll pay for this!
Snape- PUT IT ON MY TAB!
8. Lupin- My transformation... It's beginning! SPEED...OF A WOLF!
9. Seamus- So, you guys evuh hear the one ‘bout Serious Black and Flitwick’s littuh brotha? So, Flitwick’s littuh brotha’s walkin’ down the streets of Londuhn… And Serious Black, ‘e’s in this STORM DRAIN… Dressed as a CLOWN. An’ ‘e’s like, “Yo! Hey! Flitwick’s littul brothuh! Down ‘ere in this storm drain! It’s me! A clown!” And Flitwick’s littuh brotha’s like, “Yeah chap? Wutchoo want?” And Serious Black’s like, “Oh, Flitwick’s littul bruhva, you gotta get down this storm drain with me, ‘cause you’re. Missin’. Out! We’ve got a CARNIVUHL down ‘ere! We’ve got LOADS of cottuhn candy, and balloons!” And the kid practically flips, ‘e goes, “I gotta get down there… That sounds like a RIGHT TREAT THAT DOES!” So! ‘E reaches down his arm, right? But Serious Black… He grows ‘is mad teeth and ‘e BIOTES THE KIDS ‘EAD OFF! And two days latuh…That kid died.
10. Seamus- I heard one time, a dementor kissed her...And. IT. DIED.
11. Dumbledore- Disapparate!
Everyone- Ah! Magic!
12. Snape- SIRIUS BLAAACK! SSIIIRIUUUSSS BLAAAACK! SIRIUUSSSS BLA- ohp! Checkmate!
13. Lupin- How much no proof is there now? Ah-ah! *throws down corpse* What you're looking at is the corpse of Peter Petigrew. The man thought to be killed by Sirius years ago! Can I get a time of death on this please?
Neville- Well I'm no coroner but, uh, looks like he was killed about ten minutes and, uh, thirty-six seconds ago.
Lupin- Thanks Neville. How could Sirius have killed him years ago if he's only been dead for ten and a half minutes?
Molly- Yeah! Why does he look all FRESHLY bloody. And MANGLED... And DIRTY.
Arthur- Yeah! How'd he end up like that. Lupin!
Molly- Yeah! Lupin!
Lupin- Yes! Probably the work...of that infamous Hogwarts...Jaguar.
Dumbledore- Makes sense to me!
Lupin- Yes! The Hogwarts jaguar... Responsible for so much property damage to Hogwarts this year! Especially in my office... *cough*cough* *deep voice* Lupin shouldn't have to pay for that...*regular voice* Yes...Who said that? ...Probably that jaguar! Bless his soft adorable paws that he trips over when he's running to fast....
14. Malfoy- I… am a racist.*Dean Thomas stands up, offended* I despise gingers, and mudbloods, I hate gryffindor house, and my parents work for the man who killed your parents, do you want to be my friend?
Harry- You hate Gryffindor house?
15. Everybody- Any happy little thought?
16. Cho- Too bad you were joking, professer, because I could have been your greatest adventure.
17. Draco- You know, using the potty is a GREAT time to socialize! You just look over to the stall next to you, and you just have a right chat with your neighbor! 'Oh! Hello there! First time using the potty too, eh? Pfffft. Good luck, my man.
18. Draco- Hey, Potter. Potter. Potter.´
Harry- What Malfoy?´
Draco- I drew a picture of you. Pay special attention to the shading on your sweater it´s.. rather
good. It´s.. quite good. You know... it´s probably the best I´ve ever
done. Actually... can I have that back? Wait... no... I´m TAKING IT! I´ve stolen your favorite drawing! Look, what do you think of this?
*rips drawing* *gasp* NO! Goyle paste it!
19. Ron- Where have you been all my life?
Harry-In a cupboard under some stairs.
20. Ron:You don't have to do this. What's it gonna prove?
Hermione:That maybe somebody in this school cares if I live or die.
Cho:I wouldn't count on it!
21. Snape- I wanted to take your mom's boobies and put them on my face, and go: BLGHBLRRGHBLRBGHLRGHBL!!!
22. Umbridge- I don't approve of your hands on approach, Lupin
Lupin- Again, Cho, I was joking! God!
23. Harry- I got this scar when I was a baby. I was in the car with my parents when we crashed… into a crocodile. My parents got eaten, but then the crocodile took out a knife and gave me this scar.
24. Umbridge- I wonder what would happen if I broke your fingers.
25. Ron- Ahh! Night troll.
Hermione- I'm not a night troll, I'm a little girl!
26. Umbridge- I AM WOMAN! HEAR ME SMASH!
27. Draco- How do you expect me to use the potty? I could fall into that monstrosity.
28.Draco- Noone undermines Draco Malfoy.
Dumbledore- Oh shut up, Malfoy, you little shit.
29. Lupin- I'm not dangerous and I'm not homeless...anymore.
30. She correographed an affair with someone behind my back. Someone I trusted. Someone I may have even loved.
Hermione-Ollivander??
Harry-Filch??
Ron-Regulas Black, Sirius' brother???
YaxleyME???
Lucius- No. DOBBY!!
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