Chapter 19

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"Are you okay?" Ellie asked and I nodded. "You sure? You don't look fine to me." She tried searching my face for any emotions or pain. But I tried not to show any.

"I'm fine, really. Let's just go home already." I turn to look at Zhander who's now walking towards us. He's not supposed to be here.

Why is he here?

"Are you two in a fight?" Ellie asked staring at the walking figure of Zhander. Then a moment her eyes are on me. "Or are you planning something that you couldn't wait to be discharged?"

I didn't answer. Not because I don't have an answer but because I am, indeed, planning something. And that plan couldn't wait any longer, especially now that Zhander showed up.

When Ellie realizes I'm not gonna spill anything to her, she looks back at Zhander. He's now in front of us, looking at Ellie, not on me. My gut tells me it's because of our last conversation, but I don't care anymore.

"We're not in a fight." Zhander said finally looking at me before I could even respond. Right. We're not in a fight, we are breaking up.

"Something feels so off." Ellie muttered to herself. I just ignored her and went to slide inside Zhander's car. I sit on the passenger seat, while Ellie is in the backseat. Soon after Zhander slid in, he started the engine and drove us off.

Through the trip no one talks. It was so silent that only the honks of the car behind us were heard. I kept my eyes on the window, trying to avoid Zhander's glances and Ellie's interrogative stare. On second thought, I was so busy watching the trees and building that we passess by.

After my last talk with Zhander , he still continuously visited me in the hospital. Nothing changes as if I hadn't spoken about breakup . Oh there is - we don't have long conversations since. And I hadn't told Ellie about it. She doesn't have to know. I don't want her to know. I don't know why, I just don't want anyone to know.

"Can you take me to my old house?" I asked, finally breaking the silence, still looking outside the window. The question was intended for Zhander but Ellie's the one who answered.

"You mean your parents'?" She asked. Shock is very evident in her tone. Fully aware of her stare, I nod. "Why there?" She asked again. I give no response. "What's going on? Zhander why aren't you talking to her? " She asked, hysterical. Suddenly I felt Zhander's eyes on me.

"Sabs, you can't go there. Well, you can but not today. Not when you're being so dramatic and all." She said, leaning closer to my seat. When I gave no indication of changing my mind, she left her eyes on Zhander. "Please talk to her, Zhander. I don't know what she has in mind, and that alone scares me. "

"I'm fine Ellie, really. I just need time to think. That's all." I explained, looking in the front mirror to look at her.

"That's b*llshit Sabs. Don't give me that shit. We all know you don't want to be alone when you're thinking." She exploded like a landmine bomb. "What exactly is in your mind? You can tell me. Please, please tell me. Talk to me Sabs." She pleaded, eyes teary. And for a moment, I consider telling her and give in. Almost. But in the end, I kept my lips sealed. Not a single more word was uttered and eventually, Ellie stops talking. She slumped on her seat eyes everywhere but on me. She's upset. Mad. I can tell.

***

"Thank you." I say to Zhander, still not meeting his eyes, as I hop out the car. I took a step to Ellie who is now out of the car to hug her but she holds her hand up, stopping me from getting closer.

"Don't. I'm coming in. We are coming in." She says taking a step towards the house.

"Ellie, I appreciate it but you know... I just want to be alone for now. I hope you'll give it to me."

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