When I Kissed The Teacher

10. Insecurities

As the movie unfolds, her hand transitions from my shoulders to my thigh. Throughout its progression, her touch subtly moves toward my inner thigh.

Her hand remains in place for the duration of the movie. When the credits roll, she surprises me with a kiss. I'm momentarily stunned, but I quickly respond, reciprocating the gesture. As I do, she pauses, locking eyes with me, her gaze penetrating into the depths of my soul.

Cate: This is not right -she says looking away- This is not right at all. You're my student. God! What was I thinking about? -nothing comes out of my mouth- But... I don't know... There's something about you... -she then kisses me again.

This time I reciprocate right away and we make out for a few minutes. Obviously, she dominates me. Our hands are all over each other's body. Then she moves her hands to my boobs and I can feel my heart beating even faster than before. She starts kissing my neck and leaving marks on it. All that comes out of my mouth are little moans.

Cate: Don't be shy, and please don't make me regret taking this step.

She takes her shirt off and the she starts to take mine off. I know she has already seen me that way but right now, knowing what it's about to happen, I can't let her see me like this.

Y/N: Stop! -she does what I say.
Cate: Why? Did I do something you don't want me to? Am I going too fast?
Y/N: It's not your fault... It's just...
Cate: What is it?
Y/N: My fucking insecurities! I cannot let you see me this way!
Cate: But... I have already seen you without your sweater.
Y/N: I know. But now it's different because we're about to do something.
Cate: Not if you don't want to.
Y/N: Don't you wanna have sex?
Cate: I mean... yes. But if you're not ready, I can wait...
Y/N: You would wait for me?
Cate: Yes. Well... I don't think it's gonna take you a lot of time if we keep seeing each other and... you know... being more intimate.
Y/N: I don't know...
Cate: Don't worry, take your time. I'll be waiting for you.
Y/N: I don't really know why you're doing this, you barely know me and I am your student.
Cate: Since the first day I saw you I could feel something between us. I don't know what it is yet, but it's there. And I know you're my student and this is not right so this is why we shouldn't tell anyone what happened. Well, except for Maggie because I know you probably tell her everything.
Y/N: And Sandra...
Cate: What Sandra? Miss Bullock?
Y/N: Yes, she saw what we were gonna do in the parking lot and she told me that she wouldn't say anything.
Cate: Oh my god! How am I supposed to look at her now? Anyway, do you want to sleep here?
Y/N: Sure!
Cate: You can go to my son's bedroom and change there. The pajamas are already there. I'll wait for you in my bedroom.

She heads to her bedroom, and I make my way to her son's room. I'm unsure if I'm ready for this, even if it's just sleeping. The whole situation feels both strange and exhilarating. When I enter her bedroom, she's already in bed.

Cate: I've been waiting for you. Come here -I lay next to her.
Y/N: You know, you kind of look like Lou Miller from "Ocean's 8".
Cate: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Y/N: Well, she's my favorite character, so I'd say it's a good thing.
Cate: Alright, I'll take it as a compliment. Good night, darling.
Y/N: Good night.

I turn to face the wall, avoiding her gaze as I don't want her to see me while I sleep; it would be too embarrassing. Despite my attempts, I struggle to drift off.