ONLY YOU » STEVE ROGERS [EDITING]

36 /| a long time

thirty-six

*•.*

STEVE HADN'T LIVED A simple life in a long time. Truthfully, the only things simple in his life were his love for one woman, and his conviction in his beliefs. Watching his friend try to kill his other friend was not simple. Betrayal was not simple and neither was revenge.

Geneva Blake being in a coma was not goddamn simple.

Siberia had meant nothing. The only thing that had awaited them there was a pile of dead assassins and a broken man intent on sending them down a path of destruction too.

Steve was well aware of the fact that they were the ones who had started it, though. The fall of Sokovia had happened only a year ago, and there were still dues left to pay for that chaos. Helmut Zemo, the true mastermind behind the framing of James Buchanan Barnes and the killing of so many innocent people, had lost his family during the country's destruction. In turn, he gained a heart darkened by grief and soiled by vengeance.

Steve did believe that the Avengers had made the world a better place, but how many monsters had they created because of the battles they'd fought? How many monsters had they created because of the lives they hadn't bothered to save?

He was no fool. The awful truth was that there would be people who would die in the crossfire whether the Avengers were a factor or not, and they would be blamed either way. It was always a lose-lose situation. They just couldn't save everyone, but it would always be worse if they saved no one at all. Even now, after Siberia, he wouldn't sign the Accords. He supposed that it did not matter though because he would most likely never be given the chance again.

Steve wasn't perfect. He was a fighter, a killer, and a liar. He'd known that the Winter Soldier had killed Tony Stark's parents. He'd known that his friend had killed his other friend, and he wasn't surprised that he would almost have to witness that first hand this time with Tony and Bucky.

He stood beside Bucky because he was innocent. Tony was blinded by a myriad of emotions and the details hadn't mattered to him.

Geneva had been right in trying to get him to be honest with Tony because if he had, Zemo would not have been able to use the information to his advantage. Perhaps if he had, the man would not have had any grounds to stand on, and the entirety of his plan would have fallen through. Perhaps he would still have a friend in Tony. And maybe a lot of people would still be alive–maybe Geneva would have been perfectly unharmed, and maybe he would not have had to wonder if he would ever speak to her again.

Steve was on almost every wanted list in the world, and his friends were in prison for a greater good that had not been served this time around, and he had to hear about Gen on the news. There was no information at all other than the vague mention that she'd been hurt and was in critical condition. Steve had stood in stunned silence for an undefinable amount of time after that, before tearing through the quinjet in search for his burner phone. He hadn't bothered to use it because he assumed she'd been in some solitary prison, her burner confiscated. He's assumed he'd see her soon.

He quickly dialed the number. Someone picked up on the second ring. "It's good know that you're still alive," came Natasha Romanoff's voice, thin and staticky. Even through the noise he could hear her fatigue.

"She's in the hospital," he said without any other greeting. It wasn't a question, but he needed an explanation. He didn't recognize his own voice. He wasn't sure he could feel his hands, but the tremor in them was undeniable.

"Yes. She has been since you left for Siberia." There was a long pause, then Natasha spoke with an unsteady voice. "They won't allow her to leave the country, and they won't transfer her to the Raft because it's not safe. Even if Dr. Cho could get privileges at the hospital, her tech hasn't been approved here. Tony tried but—"

Steve interrupted her. He didn't want to hear those things. They weren't important now. "Just tell me how bad it is, Nat."

"She got hurt at the airport. It was an accident. An artery got nicked," Natasha began after another second of silence. "There was a lot of blood, Steve. If it weren't for Olten, she would be dead. I don't know what he did exactly—I don't know if he knows what he did—but he saved her. Her heart stopped, but she was able to make it out of surgery. She hasn't woken yet, but they're optimistic."

Optimistic.

Steve's stomach churned. He was imagining things that had only been the subjects of his worst nightmares. Geneva's brown skin pulled taunt across her face, her eyes growing lifeless. Tears flowing from his own eyes as he decided a long time ago that he just simply wouldn't live without her.

He couldn't handle the world taking anything else from him.

He swallowed hard before speaking. "Have you seen her?"

"It wasn't a good idea, not with Ross on my trail, but I tried anyway. And, God Steve, the hospital was so heavily guarded that even I can't get past them without causing more damage." He heard Natasha let out a breath. It made sense. She'd helped them escape the airport in the end, and that had made her both a traitor and violator of the Accords. "They're waiting for you."

"They won't have to wait much longer." Steve was becoming numb.

Natasha scoffed. "And what are you going to do? Storm the hospital? Then what? You can't move her. You'll just get yourself arrested or killed and now's not the time to be a martyr." He could imagine her pursed lips with their judgmental tilt. "Look at where force has gotten us, Steve. We may have used it to do the right thing, but at what cost?"

"I have to see her," he said helplessly.

"You can't," Natasha let out firmly. "And that's just something that you'll have to live with for now." There was rustling in the background. "Look, Steve, don't do anything stupid. Gen is gonna be okay, just give her some ti—" Abruptly, the phone call ended.

Steve wasn't angry for it. He was teetering on the edge of a precipice, and it was no good to fall where people could see or hear, nor was it any good to be alone at all, but he was.

His chest tightened. He squeezed his eyes shut.

And Geneva opened hers.

Nearly.

The darkness was beginning to weigh too heavily on her chest, swallowing her whole, and, for the first time, she believed that it may be easiest to let it.

She was tired of fighting, and she had been for a long time.

hi guys! sorry it took me so long to update but college has me busy right now. i hope you guys are doing well. thank you for continuing to read this!

-syd