ÈGOÏSTE |18+ [English Version]

Chapter 55. "I am your toy."

The difference between adults and children is the cost of their toys.

Robert Frost

On behalf of Edmund:

Joanna fell asleep, and I lay down next to her and tried to come to my senses... in fact, I couldn't have imagined that this would be the end of our first encounter in a long time.

I missed her, her smell, her smile, her eyes... but was I doing the right thing by her? After all, I had changed and love was out of the question...

Now a girl for me is just a pleasure and nothing more...

I got up and went to the kitchen, got cold water from the fridge and began to drink. I went out to the balcony and smoked, my mind was only on Joanna and what I should do with her...

Leave her and disappear from San Francisco and start my life over? It wouldn't be right, staying with her and pretending like everything was okay would be wrong...

I picked my head up and just thought about it, the first person I thought of was Sean, he had woken up by the way and had been sent to a hospital to deal with his addiction, I opened a bank account for him and invested a very decent amount, but asked to keep it all incognito, let him think his father did it, because if Sean found out it was me, he would never accept the money, because Sandra went to a lot of trouble for it, she told Sean when he woke up and wanted to see me, but saw Sandra who made up a very good story about me, saying I was the last bitch and left a close friend, of course she came out a good person and she's back in San Francisco now, but I'm not interested anymore, I lost all my friends and I was probably the only one to blame for it. ..

I didn't want to see Stacy anymore, after my last meeting with Tony he confessed everything to me, because I found a picture of him and more than one in my phone, where he was in bed with my ex, I wasn't really mad at him, because he told the truth, and I don't see any reason to be mad at him...

So my roads with Stacey parted, which I guess I'm glad I did.

My mother flew back to New York lately their relationship with my father is not very good, well judging by the way he behaved with Joanna, I'm afraid to imagine what he did in his regular life on the side with underage girls...

I was also thinking about moving back to New York and probably setting up my own business, but I don't know yet, I still have one unresolved question, how do I deal with Joanna?

Yes, she hurt me, yes, I understand, but man, she still means a lot to me and all this time I was thinking about her and how to meet her again, I will not lie that many times I waited outside her house just to look at her, but she did not come out and I knew that she too is hard as well as me. But now what are we to each other? Lovers? Or friends? Or strangers?

I inhaled the toxic smoke and let it out as I watched it dissolve into the air, and then her hands were on my back and she pressed against me and I felt warmth.

- Why aren't you sleeping? - I asked her and she stood next to me, leaning against the railing, taking the bottle of water from me and taking a few sips.

- I can't sleep without you...

- You'll catch cold... - looking at the fact that she was wearing my T-shirt, I said.

- How did you get those scars? - She took my hand and ran her thin fingers over my shattered knuckles.

- I had to put someone in their place.

- You drove yourself to it," she looked at me, "don't tell me it's because of me, I just can't take it.

- It's the aftermath of a broken heart...