Our Life (Sequel to "Remnants")

What if...

-Riley-

I had been utterly horrified by my actions earlier. Carl was right though, I had only done it in self defense, and I would do anything - no matter how brutal or sickening - to stay with him in this cruel world.

That didn't make what I had done any less traumatizing however, and simply thinking back to what happened a few hours ago made me feel deathly cold and hollow inside.

Still, Carl and I's alone time upon my return had eased my pain - at least until it was interrupted by Michonne - and I was grateful for a moment of love and peace that wasn't completely shattered by my ever-worsening PTSD. I dreaded to contemplate the effect that yet another killing would have on the condition, but it would not be a good one.

Anyway, I had to set aside this personal dilemma at the moment, since Carl and I were about to participate in a decision which affected the lives of the whole community, not just me.

Our daily supply runs were becoming increasingly dangerous - it was only a few weeks ago that Michonne and two other Alexandrians were attacked by a small herd whilst on one such run. One Alexandrian was bitten, and if it wasn't for Michonne performing a quick amputation with her katana, he would not have survived. Today was the first time we were ever attacked by a human, and the fact that the surrounding area was rigged with devious, deadly traps made the situation even more concerning.

Carl and I entered the church in the center of the safe-zone, which was now used as a form of community center rather than a settlement of religious purpose - a prospect of which rarely even existed in this brutal world.

Inside, Carl's group were just only a few of the people - 200 families' worth - who were engaging in friendly conversations until the meeting was properly organized.

"Damn, it's busy," I observed, noticing some faces which - for various reasons - didn't often leave their houses, which instantly informed me that this meeting was of unusual importance.

Not many meetings were essential; they were usually laughably trivial things which I tended to avoid - things like the idea of a town canteen or a weekly bingo club, but this one was clearly more than that.

Our attention was called as Deanna Monroe entered the church - Deanna, the wife of a deceased Douglas, was quick to take charge to the community as an obligation to her husband, who was the previous leader of the group. I recalled with immense guilt how I had literally stood beside Negan as he executed the elderly man, and I was both shocked by and indebted to Deanna for her forgiveness when I met her.

She walked over to the pulpit, accompanied by her only surviving son: Aiden.

Regrettably, unlike his mother, Aiden considered himself an 'alpha-male' of sorts, and as a result he was far from the forgiving type. Thanks to his mother - who would usually defend me in a confrontation - Aiden was rarely able to express his anger toward me regarding his father's death, but he gave me subtle indications with spiteful glares and grimaces, and of course the occasional homophobic remark when out of his mother's range.

Today was no different, as whilst he walked around most people in the hall, he went out of his way to barge into me.