Secretly bonded (Yoongi x Y/N ff) 18+

39. Indecisive

Yoongi's POV

When she says those words, something in my chest begins to crumble. My body fills with anxiety, fear and anger.

What the hell just happened...

"Why are you saying that? What do you have to think about?" I eagerly push for an answer. Her eyebrows furrow while they pierced into mine. "I need to make sure that all of this makes sense and this is exactly what I want." Her voice is shaky and soft. The look on her face scares me. I didn't know why but it felt like my heart was slowly ripping out of my chest. I walked towards the bed and I instantly noticed her sudden change in body language; as if she didn't want me here. Her shoulders jolted upward; cringing as if I had the plague.

"What's wrong?" I muttered as I continued to slowly approach her. Her eyes remain staring at the floor; she's purposely ignoring me. "Y/n?" I softly called for her.

———————
Y/N's POV

The way he calls my name pains me. There's a tremble in his tone. I have never heard fear in his voice before and I never thought I'd witness this man in this state. "Why would I want this life? I never wanted it before!?" I asked with a bit of aggression in my cords as my eyes strike at his. My body tensed and I refuse to break. His jaw tightens but he releases a quick breath.

"Why are you so wishy washy?" He questioned me. I can sense his frustration radiating off him. "I can be however I want to be! Who in their right mind would choose this life...willingly?" I barked back at Yoongi. I rolled my eyes and he is now right at the foot of my bed. "First you hate me and then you're suddenly fulfilling your sexual desires with me and now you're back to hating me? I'm confused!" He aggressively voiced then combs his fingers through his hair. "You're one to talk! I wanted to figure this out sooner! But no, you only wanted to get your dick wet without the feelings!" I expressed my anger. "Just get out. This isn't going anywhere." I continued dryly. "No. You can't force me out." He pokes his tongue into his cheek. "GET OUT! I don't have the energy to have this conversation right now" I grumbled. "NO! I have almost lost you once and I'm not going to lose you again! I have no idea why you're freaking out!" Yoongi fires back at me with rage in his veins. I get so angry that I shift forward to the edge of the bed and try to stand up. Adrenaline is pumping through me and I want to punch him right in the throat. "I'm freaking out because what normal human wants a life where getting shot is a possibility!? Who in their right mind thinks that this is the dream life?" I argue while aggressively talking with my hands. I finally stand to my feet and brace myself against the bed. "This dream life?! This life includes ME!" He rebuttals.

I begin to feel sorry but with the anger coursing through my body but I don't let it overcome me. "You?!" I pointed at him. "You think that there's a girl out there who truly believes that you're her dream man? You think someone out there is willing to drop their life for you!? You're nothing but a great fuck!" I rolled my eyes as my insult burns him. Yoongi comes up close to me, close enough that when his body hits mine; I begin to tip backwards into the bed. The way he glared into my soul is telling me that I have messed up. His arm wraps around the base of my back; holding me up straight and against him. "I can give you the world and give you the best fucking sex you'll ever have." He snarls before crashing his lips into mine. I shove him away as I pull my face back and my body is in control of itself. My hand comes up and slaps him across the cheek.

Yoongi doesn't flinch nor move but his eyes trail down to my lips and he takes his lower lip between his teeth. "If you want to be aggressive, just tell me. I can play that game too." He says and begins to kiss me along my jawline. Peck after peck, he begins to control my body. I can't help but waver to his touch. A slight moan escapes my lips and I feel his lips curl upward. I can feel his grin pressed against the skin of my neck. "Tell me to stop and I will." He whispers before planting a few more kisses on me. "Tell me to leave and I won't come back until tomorrow." There's a tinge of raspiness in his tone. I missed him but I don't want this life. I want this to be worth it but I'm not sure that it is.

"Stay"

I muttered softly and Yoongi crashes his lips onto mine; kissing me as if it's our last time. I want it to be the last time. Until I figure out if this is what I truly want. My body speaks for itself as my arms wrap around his neck; clinging on to him for support. He lays me back in the bed and scoots me upward until my head hits the pillows. There's a glimpse of mixed emotions in his eyes. As if he doesn't know whether to attack me or just love me tenderly.

He plants a final deep kiss before breaking away and planting one on my forehead. "Get some rest." Yoongi whispers as he lays next to me.