fallin' out of love (stemxstud)

1

Valentine

"And now we finally lay to rest, the most humane and loving woman I've ever known, our sweet Keris, one year later after her death. Thank the Lord, her body was finally found."

Mutterings of amen swept through the funeral home.

I didn't stay for the rest of it.

I left the establishment, my head drawn low as the image of her closed, cream-colored casket seared its way into my mind. Probably for forever. It was through some talking on the street that I had even known that her body had been found. That she'd have a funeral. That she'd finally be laid to rest, as they put it.

I stepped outside, harsh cold hitting me as Houston finally accepted that yes, it would be cold this morning, and no, yesterday was not about 100 degrees. I was still accepting that I had killed someone I thought I had once loved.

And that I had lost another that I knew I had loved.

I slid into my black car, a downgrade from the Lexus that Teece and I used to ride around in while we convinced ourselves that we were more than just criminals trying to make it by. That we were meant to be something.

I looked down at the promise ring on my finger, silently scarred from a brawl I got into at a club up in College Station. It gleamed underneath the sparse sunlight that peeked its way through the dreary clouds of today. I had promised a lot of things to Teece. A lot of things I never kept. A lot of mistakes with honor. A lot of mistakes.

I called her up, one hand on the wheel, the other shakily clutching my phone as I drove away from all the sadness surrounding my ex Keris.

"Wassup? It's already over?"

It's been over, I thought bitterly.

"Yeah. I didn't stay long."

"Was the casket open for viewing?" Teece asked me after a moment, audibly exhaling what was probably bitter smelling smoke.

"No. It's been too long. I doubt her body was even...recognizable," I said, blinking back tears.

"What type of shit did they say? She was great? Did you talk to anybody?"

"No. I only paid my respects," I blinked quickly, sniffling as I breathed.

"Oh," Teece seemed to be trying to find her words, "Where you at?"

"Me and her used to fall asleep on the phone together. What happened?" I asked myself softly.

"She couldn't accept that you two broke up. That you didn't want to stay with ha gold digging ass," Teece reminded me. "Look...I get that you're mourning. But she was never a great bitch to start with. You with me still, right? Or you gon be one of them dumb bitches still hung up on they ex?"

"Thanks for the kindness, Teece," I snapped, but my heart wasn't really into it. I hung up in her face, wondering how different things would have turned out for Keris and I had she not sent Dominique to kill me. My dumb ass probably would have gotten back with her. I'd probably be miserable and struggling my way to the top, playing around with Teece. I would have never met Anaela. Never met Dom. Teece wouldn't have a strange way to her walking now.

I wouldn't have this empty void within me.

In a way, Keris had been the center of my universe, and I had never understood how. Barely understand now. One decision...and she had brought my life down to its knees. I guess she had gotten the last laugh. I had broken her heart...and in return, she had hit me tens times harder. Probably didn't even know that the chain reaction that occurred from her sending Dom all those months ago would happen.