School of Marvel

A Depressing Double Date (1,500 words)

Thor, Kameron, Steve, and I had been double dating on the occasion. This time it was two weeks after Loki had kissed me. We went out to Logan's Roadhouse for our double date that night, after watching a movie in theaters. It was something Kameron and I always did with our family, so it sounded like a fun thing to do with our boyfriends.

We sat cozily in a booth meant for four, happily chewing on the soft bread rolls and discussing trivial things like our favorite movies, school and how much we loved going out to eat except for when the chicken tenders were basically just breading, like they were tonight.

Thor had seemed prideful at first meeting, but now that I knew him a little better, I could see he was mostly worried about filling in his father's shoes. His dad had served in the army successfully for many years before receiving honorable discharge and now ran a multi-billion-dollar company. Thor was expected to begin helping with the company when he graduated high school and would be the full-time CEO after he graduated college while his father retained ownership.

Steve was just the same as always, gentlemanly, courteous, sweet; but he seemed a little spaced out while we ate. Maybe all the fist fighting had hurt him more than he was revealing, or maybe, like me, he was thinking about our fight. Things felt... weird between us, although I wasn't sure if anyone else could notice it.

We hadn't really talked about our fight much. We just kind of let it go and did our best to ignore Loki, who had toned down the pranks, but still committed them. I wished there was something I could do, but Steve didn't want me to talk to Loki, and I didn't want to directly oppose my boyfriend. I would have reported Loki, but what was there to say? Yeah, there's a guy who likes me, so he's been non-physically tormenting my boyfriend all semester. The teachers wouldn't do anything.

When we were done eating, Kameron and Thor were walking quickly towards the car, so Steve and I fell behind, which gave me a chance to tell him what was on my mind.

"Are you all right?" I asked, glancing over at him. He was handsome from the side; his nose was straight and cheekbones finely hewn. "You seemed kind of... quiet tonight. Is it because of Loki?"

He stared straight ahead, a line forming between his eyes. "No. Not... not really. I just have something on my mind." He always seemed to have a crease between his eyes. I often wanted to reach up and brush it away, taking all his problems with it.

Is he thinking about our argument? I could see he wasn't about to share whatever was going through his head. That sent some gears of my own turning. I loved to confide in people, it was easy for me to spill my heart out to a stranger, and I hoped whomever I decided to marry would do the same with me so we could have open conversations instead of misunderstandings that escalated into arguments. I wanted a man who would tell me what was weighing on his heart so I could help him resolve the problem; I wanted him to be both my true love and best friend who withheld nothing from me.

Steve wasn't that man.

Steve wanted to shoulder every burden because he was the man of the house. He wanted to take care of problems quietly without worrying anyone else. He might confide some things in me, but if we ever had a future together, he would see to it that I never had to concern myself with certain things. I didn't want him to protect me from problems that we needed to face together. He needed, he deserved, someone who would understand that he had his own secret worries; someone who maybe even had some of her own. He needed someone who was willing to be firm when it came to certain things, things that I would be willing to bend on. He needed a firebrand.

I wasn't that woman.

The realization hit me like I had run into a concrete wall. It literally stopped me in my tracks. Steve turned around when he saw I had ceased walking, question built into his brow. "Were you thinking about us?" I asked quietly, a slight waver in my voice. I knew what I should do, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it without his help.

His blue eyes were guilty. "I can't lie to you, Alina. I was thinking about us. But it seems like you were too. I hope you figured out more than I have."

I shivered a little in the October chill. "I think I have. But I'm not sure if I can handle it. We feel so right, and so wrong all at the same time, it's all so mixed up."

His eyebrows went up. "That's how I feel," he said tenderly, clearly trying to protect my feelings. "There is something... off about our relationship. We are a good match, we're both the same kind of person, we like laughing and justice and kindness, but it's like...." He couldn't seem to figure out where he was going with that thought, so I finished it for him.

"Like we're not meant to be. Yes, we're a good match, but we're not the right match. Maybe... maybe we're just too similar. I adore you, Steve. I love how much you care for people; I love that I get to be with you every day.... But I think we may be grasping for straws."

"We were just too caught up in what we thought was love," he said softly. "Maybe it was just affection."

I nodded in agreement. "It must be. I love you, Steve, but I think only as a very good friend. I see that I had mistook that for romantic love, so I hope you'll forgive me for leading you where even I couldn't see."

"There's nothing to forgive. We were just two blind teenagers trying to lead each other." He gave a wry smile. "I'm sorry for how I've acted too. I wish I had thought a little more about where our friendship should be." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "So... I guess we're breaking up."

I bit my lip. "Yeah. I guess so. I'm sorry that it had to come to this, but I'll never be sorry for all the time we spent together. Can we just be... friends?"

Our eyes met, like we were trying to search each other's souls. Then Steve nodded. "Of course." He looked back towards Kameron and Thor, who were almost to the car. "Sorry we did this before going home. It's going to be a long car ride."

"Maybe. Let's just try to keep things like they've always been between us. I don't... I don't want this to cause a rift. I really do treasure your friendship, Steve."

He smiled. It was a little sad, but a little relieved. "And I yours."

As we walked towards the car I said playfully, "should we swear never to tell anyone it was Loki who inadvertently caused our breakup?"

"Please."

Of course, I went home and cried after Steve and I's breakup. I'm not sure why, I knew it was the right choice. There were a lot of feelings swirling around in me, so I guess they had to come out somehow. I told my mom what had happened first, then Kameron. She was a little upset, Kameron that is, but she also knew it was my choice. Well, Steve and I's choice. We made it together—and we were going to be all right.

Steve and I were a little awkward towards each other for a while, but after a week we were comfortable again. I knew we would always be special to each other. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend, and my first ex, and we were still friends.