“God damn it” I hopped across my room pulling my jeans on. A car horn beeped from outside my window. “Aylay! Come on we’ve got to go” I pulled my leg through my jeans and fell to the floor. “For fuck sake” I grabbed my bag and my jacket and ran down stairs. “See you later mum” I ran to the door. I wanted to get out of the house before my mother said anything to me.
My “friends” were all in the car. I say friends like that because they’re not friends they’re just people I ditch class with and go to parties with but mainly do some fucked up shit with.
It’s not like I’ve always been like this. Because I haven’t. This time last year I had a boyfriend. Whom I’m friends with but I still love him. The reason he broke up with me was because I ditched class once and did a few crazy things and It was a lot for him to handle but he still tries to save me. I continue to do the things I do because I want his attention.
“Aylay what took you so long girl?” I got in the back. Chad was sat in the front of the car. This group is quite accepting. We have two black people one lesbian a bisexual and well me. Chad is black, Jasmine is black, Alana is a lesbian and Dan is bisexual. I’m just fucked up. “Sorry Chad I’m here now!” Chad just drove off. He is a great guy. They all are. It’s more like these people are family. But we’re not real friends. I like them but I don’t like them at the same time.
“So. How’s you and Laurence?” I was sat on the grass by myself. Everyone was dancing around the camp fire stoned as fuck. I wasn’t. It was 3 months since me and Laurence split. Jasmine wasn’t because she was driving us back tonight. “I’m not too sure Jas I mean. He rings me up at night to see if I’m ok and he texts me in the morning and stuff. It’s like we’re still in a relationship but urgh I don’t even I shouldn’t be hung up over this I shouldn’t be thinking about it” I turned away from Jasmine. Just because I was crying and she is like a tough ghetto bitch she doesn’t cry then she will see it as a massive thing. She started talking about something then my phone started ringing Laurence calling I stood up “Sorry I’ve got to take this!”
I ran across to where no one would hear me.
“Hello”
“Hey Aylay how are you?”
I sighed “I’m ok thanks you?”
He paused “Hmm I’m ok. Would you like me to come over?”
“I’m not at home I’m out with everyone”
“Ok well would you like me to pick you up?”
“No Laurence I’ll be find completely fine”
“Well If you’re sure”
We said good bye and I ran down to Chad. He had a mass collection of drugs to his name. There was also a lot of alcohol. I stuffed some drugs in my pocket and collected a few bottles of the alcohol.
I sat by myself drinking alcohol bottle after bottle. Can after can. I felt someone touch my shoulder. “I was worried about you and with every right come on I’m taking you home” I turned around. Laurence was standing there. He sat down next to me. “Hi Laurence” Lets say I was in rare form. I had clearly had to much to drink. He kept glancing at me to make sure I was alright. “Come on Ay-“ I kissed him. Yup worst move but I did it. “Aylay you know that’s not fair considering I still love you” I went in to kiss him again. “Aylay I’m taking you home you’re drunk” Yes Laurence did think I was over him. No I was not. I was drunk but I knew what I was doing.
Laurence helped me into his car and got in the front seat. He started the engine. He didn’t say anything. Not a single word. But the way he did everything was so in time and caring. The way he moved was like he was going to say something to me but he never did.
We pulled up to outside my house. I went to open the door. Laurence didn’t say anything. “Bye Laurence thanks for the ride” I smiled at him. He looked at me. “I’ll ring you tomorrow. This wasn’t right” I shut the door and he drove off.
I stood in the street. I watched his car turn right up to the estate he lived on. I tilted my head back suddenly feeling the harsh thing called reality hit me.
I walked in my house. My mother turned around. She was sat in the dark sitting room watching TV with my step dad. “Hey” She smiled. I just turned around and walked upstairs. She knew that if I was upset to leave me. She knows how much I love Laurence. In many ways my mum could be my best friend.
I shut my bedroom door. I pulled my phone out of my pocket. Also a few packets of substances fell out. I looked at them. “Shit they’re Chad’s” There was pills and white powder and a tiny bit of weed.
I put the weed in my box with the rest of my drugs I’m keeping for Chad. He has the police at his house a lot you see. I pushed all of the pills aside. I unlocked my phone. I didn’t have any calls but I had one text. It was Jasmine Have fun with Laurence! Hope you get him back girl! Xx
Oh god Laurence. I remembered the whole night and how shit it was. I kept looking at the bagged substances. My box was full of weed. That’s pretty much all I had done. I couldn’t even tell you what was in these other bags because I wasn’t too sure. Well. I was going to find out.
I couldn’t stop crying. It was Laurence. I loved him to death. I practically teared open the bags. I guessed the white powder was cocaine. I washed down the pills and put the cocaine in a line. I took it all in. I felt relaxed and calm. Then it all went black. Pitch black.
*Laurence’s P.O.V.*
“Fuck fuck” I ran a red light. I kept driving as fast as I could. It was 2:30am. I carried on driving until I reached the hospital.
“Hi can you tell me where Aylay Jones is?” The nurse typed on the computer really slowly. For fuck sake hurry up “Ward 3 room 102” I ran quickly away from her annoying voice “Thanks”
I had never really been in this hospital before. I spent a lot of my time running and looking at signs walking down the same corridors I had just been down.
I finally found her. She was on a heart monitor thingy. She had a few leaflets about drug abuse on the table next to her. But she wasn’t even awake. Only her mum was in the room.
“Laurence do you have any idea how this could have happened?” I nodded. I sat on the chair opposite Aylay’s mother and next to her bed. “She has this group of friends. They’re not good influences. I broke up with Aylay because she ditched class and in that time she did some drugs and just changed. I couldn’t handle her in a relationship. Because I love her so much and didn’t want to see her do this to herself as a boyfriend so I chose to help her as a friend. I went to collect her last night because I was worried about her and she kissed me and she was drunk so I knew it wasn’t right. I dropped her off home. And Chad always has drugs and I guess she took some it’s so confusing Mrs Jones I am so sorry I haven’t explained it to you but I…Well I don’t know” I was crying. I haven’t confessed the reason I broke up with Aylay before to anyone. Not even myself. Aylay’s mum was pretty broken about it too.
Aylay woke up at about 9am. She requested to have a moment with me alone. Her mum got up and left with out a fuss. I held Aylay’s hand.
“Laurence. I know you think I was drunk last night and I was but when I kissed you I wanted to I mean not so smooth but I still have feelings for you” I shook my head and held onto her hand tighter. It’s not that I didn’t want her to say these things or I didn’t believe them it was still not right. “Aylay I’m sure you know I love you with all my heart but it would be totally weird us being together again. I don’t know I completely love you” I kissed the top of her head and walked out of the room crying.
*A few months later*
Aylay was normal again. Well as normal as she has ever been. She got in the front seat of my car. “Good morning you” I planted a kiss on her cheek. We drove to her counselling chatting about everything. She got out of the car. “Ok see you later I love you!” She smiled and turned back to me. “I love you too Laurence”
Yeah I kind of realised we were better together than apart. I wasn’t leaving. I never have and never will.
Hope this was ok! <3
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