Riftan’s fingers turned stiff. Max, who was laying on his lap, turned her head to look intently at his face. He then bluntly spoke as he stared at the raindrops that hammered heavily against the window.
“It’s only because I felt nervous. Croix Castle is a place where I don’t really feel at ease.”
Max blinked in puzzlement. Even back when he was newly knighted, his actions were more dignified and intimidating compared to any nobleman. Although his speech and behavior were not very sophisticated, the arrogance in his attitude was present in the way he interacted, like he did not care about what other people would perceive him as. Max’s bottom lip protruded.
“You’re l-lying. Someone that nervous… wouldn’t act that arrogant.”
“Did I appear arrogant?” He asked, his eyebrows pulling together.
“Every time someone talks to you… You look down at them with this expression.” Max lifted her chin up and imitated how Riftan looked at people, trying her best to look as conceited as she could manage. “Whenever someone spoke to you… you looked down at them with th-this kind of expression on your face.”
“You mean, I made such a cute face?”
He laughed at Max’s ridiculous effort to imitate him, then lowered his head and placed his lips on top of her protruding bottom lip. Max grimaced as Riftan’s bangs poked her eyes when he pecked her lips.
“And whenever our eyes met… you used to stare at me with a fierce expression. It scared me…”
“You must have interpreted it that way because of my rugged impression. I was merely looking at you.”
He responded gravely and squeezed her face between his hands, making Max’s cheeks bulge frontwards like a squashed puffer fish. Her face flushed red and because of her protests he eventually removed his hands away from her face. It felt like a thorn pricked her heart at the ignorance and nonchalance he gave towards his treatment towards her back then. She looked at him with disbelief in her eyes.
“I d-don’t think so. You looked as if you were angry about something. Sometimes… I… felt like it was because you despised me.”
Suddenly, the smile on Riftan’s face was wiped off. Max anxiously looked up, searching for an answer in his black eyes that seemed to have clouded to conceal his emotions. Riftan then muttered his words with a bitter smile on his lips.
“I thought you hated me. Whenever I got close to you, you were visibly nervous. And whenever I tried to speak with you, you would run away with a frightened look on your face. I felt like a horrendous monster every time you did that.” He lifted a handful of her hair that fell on her shoulders and brought it to his lips. “Later on, it aggravated me. And so, I decided that I would hate you too. I wanted to get you out of my head and stop, I wanted to make myself feel at ease.”
For a moment, Max was speechless. She wondered when she started to mean something to him. She recalled the first time she saw him. She clearly remembered the image of him entering the castle together with the knights sent to settle the dispute with Dristan. Among those hundreds of knights, it was him that stood out most and appeared most prominent. The maids used to argue over who would attend to him while he was at the castle, and even the ladies who were invited to the dinner banquets couldn’t take their eyes off him.
But Max couldn’t understand why women would fuss over someone who appeared so cold-hearted that they couldn’t even approach him. As he said, she did appeared stiff and frightened around him, but never in her imagination did it cross that she would catch someone’s attention. Riftan was terribly good at hiding his feelings.
