Our top story tonight: a local woman named Lily has made a new years resolution in late September. Lily has vowed to cause trouble as a form of exercise. This controversial form of aerobic exercise involves sprinting around the neighborhood, crawling around in alleyways, and parkour-ing up government buildings. Lily has been walking all over the local authorities despite their constant attempts to keep her safe. When interviewed, the chief of police had this to say:
"While Lily's actions might seem disruptive to our local community, she's actually been helping the force to stay in shape. Even some of the local residents have taken an interest in her unconventional exercise plan. At the end of the day, shes not causing any damage or putting herself or others in danger, so we plan to let her continue until that changes. Shes even stopped fighting her neighbor, so we can focus on more important calls. We are cautiously optimistic about her exercise plan."
The situation remains under control for the time being, but we here at Bunny News Network will continue to monitor and will report updates as they develop.
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This is the Bunny News Network bringing you a special update on one of our local residents. Lily Buns is in late recovery from a routine surgery and the local authorities gifted her a new bed to keep her comfortable and as a physical token of their well wishes. Lily was less than thrilled about this gift. She reportedly told the chief of police "ACAB, FUCK YOUR BED" then promptly laid down next to the bed in protest. When questioned about this, the chief said
"We understand her annoyance. We had to keep her under house arrest for her own well being. Ultimately it's a gift and since we delivered it, she may do with it as she wishes. Our goal is to keep all our residents happy and healthy".
This concludes the 11 o'clock report.
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Fiksi UmumNews on the happenings in Bunsville with Lily Buns and Leo Georgie. Mostly just for me to keep these all in one place. Lily is 2 years old and got spayed in September. Leo is 3 months old. They are kept in separate pens and any fighting mention in t...
