Bride of Alvar (Redemption Saga, Book 1)

Chapter 11

"Saul was thrown into your world through the Bridge." Alvar sighs and his brow furrows with pain, and he backs away from me. "It was the only means to defeat him. Without Arlite he was unable to return. But if he does return, this world and possibly yours will be lost to him."

"What do you mean? You killed the Cursed he owned, didn't you?"

"Lucy, I am the Cursed he used to gain power," Alvar's eyes connected with mine somberly. "Before becoming ruler here I-I did many unforgivable things."

"You've killed thousands of people?" I begin, but Alvar shakes his head.

"Don't speak of it," he says, great sorrow and shame in his handsome face, it's enough to make my heart break a little. "I can't have you think of me as a monster. Everything I did was outside of my control." He taps his neck. "I still wear the device of my shame. A Fe collar. The one who placed it upon my neck controlled me. I had a noble sylph priestess bless it to appear invisible, but it's still there. Reminding me everyday of whom I'm enslaved to."

"Do you now understand why I needed to make sure none in Underland would dare venture into your world? If Saul were to get his hands on even a shard of Arlite, do you know what that would mean?" Alvar pauses and his eyes beam red. "None know of this except myself, Fletch, and the priestess, Sola, I mentioned. I am telling you because I see your mind is quick and I wish complete honesty between us. We need to get on the same path, as rulers of this kingdom, and as husband and wife."

"I can't imagine," I murmur, clenching my eyes shut and trying not to imagine. To live without your own will governing your body? Everything in this world is impossible in mine and I unfortunately am overwhelmed with deep pity for my husband despite my doubts in him.

"Am I understood about keeping this a secret?" His lips are quite quickly inches from mine.

I nod, trying not to show my nerves.

"Thank you, Lucy," Alvar says, breathing out a sigh of relief, he steps toward me again, tentatively. "I think I'd love kissing you, Lucy."

I push him away, but my shove is playful and I'm kicking myself because I think I'd love kissing him too. "You don't own me, don't forget it!"

"On the contrary, it is you who owns me," Alvar says, a grin spread across his face as his eyes fix on mine. "I am sorry. I got lost in those beautiful eyes of yours. I can't help but be drawn to you."

"Is this your idea of flirting?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow and crossing my arms over my chest. "Because it's not working on me."

"Oh, but I believe it is," Alvar narrows his eye and scrutinizes me. "Your pupils are dilated. Your breath is husky. Everything about your reaction to my question makes me think you want to kiss me too."

"You are quite presumptuous in your words, sir," I defend myself, although it's forced. "I bet you think I'm going to just kiss you right here now that I know the truth. No judgment to women who move that fast, but that's not how I roll."

"I like your resolve, Lucy," Alvar says with a grin. "Still, I want you to know that if Earth human blood runs in the royal family here your world will be safe forever as will ours. If you choose to, I would have a family with you. I believe in a Creator of our worlds, I believe our world belongs to us and your world belongs to your humans, we shouldn't change the course of our worlds by means of the Bridge."

Wow. Deep. It makes me wonder about Alvar's religious beliefs, but I can't think about it without my head spinning because that question would possibly open up an entire religious history in this kingdom that I know nothing about, so I change the subject, "What did Triss look like?"

"I don't wish to speak of her," Alvar states coldly, such a change in direction from where we were headed. I'm disappointed.

"Did you love her?"

"Yes, Lucy, I loved her very much," Alvar's voice is far away, I am sure his mind is in the past. "She and Fletch made my reign possible. She helped me throw Saul over the Bridge. She was my sun."

The words were so sincere I can't think of anything to say in reply. I bite my lip.

Am I disappointed or jealous to hear this?

"I don't believe you'll ever love me, Lucy," Alvar says wistfully. He casts his gaze away from me.

"But you told me while on Earth that you'd have me love you," I remind him, wishing he wouldn't give up even if he doesn't believe it. "Why are you giving up on that promise?"

"Now that you know what I really am... that I'm Cursed. It's impossible to love me. I know it is. Even Triss couldn't love me truly, but she felt pity for me. I think she mistook her pity for love."

His words hit and resonate with a shock. This conversation is spiraling into places I'd rather not go. I think of Mike. Why is it so easy to forget about him here? I'm a horrid human being to lose track of all he was to me.

Or all I wanted him to be to me...

"You've given me plenty to ponder. I need some time alone," I find myself whispering, and my throat tightens. "Will you please leave me?"

"As you wish," He says and takes my hand and kisses it. Then he adds darkly, "What you know about me has the power to tear this kingdom down and put everything at risk."

"That's what you keep telling me," I say with a sigh. "But don't worry, I won't speak of it to anyone."

"Thank you," he says that sentence again.

All these pieces of Alvar's puzzle are coming together in unexpected ways. I don't know where to start in how I feel about him.

Alvar leaves me alone in my room.

I've never felt this trapped or conflicted about anything in my life. Everything Alvar has said so far has turned out to be true. Alvar hasn't treated me ill, hasn't forced himself on me, or made me feel uncomfortable save taking me here in the first place. He's actually been kind of a gentleman? And he's a damaged person. More damaged than me: the girl brought up by a crazy woman no one wanted anything to do with.

Well, no one except Mike and Emily and those who didn't know about my childhood.

I wish I could close the door to thoughts of guilt over Mike. I wish I would have listened to my Mom and never gotten involved with a man on Earth. I knew most certainly now I'd viewed Mike as security and as a friend. There hadn't been chemistry, just comfort. Lust had never been a factor in our relationship because I thought it didn't matter, it wasn't the only thing a marriage is built on, many people have told me so, but maybe it is more important than I'd originally thought.

"My queen, the King has ordered I take you on a tour of the palace," Grey's voice interrupts my mental whipping.

"Uh, yes," I stutter. "Please do."

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