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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧
__________________________
Fear is loud and bossy.
She can be vicious at times. And the worst of it is that she often mingles truth with fiction. You can learn to question whether or not everything she tells you is the truth and nothing but the truth.
Sometimes life doesn't always go the way you want it to. There are moments of weakness or moments where we feel absolutely useless. Other times we make mistakes, whether intentional or unintentional, they are mistakes that we can't take back. They make us seem worthless, like we can't fix anything; like we're not good enough... The important thing life has taught me is that everyone makes mistakes, whether small or big, intentional or unintentional, it doesn't mean we have to pay for them for the rest of our lives. At some point, we will have to forgive ourselves. We'll have to accept how big of an impact our actions had and move on, eventually. Sometimes, good people make bad choices. But that doesn't make us bad people, it doesn't mean we're evil; it just makes us human.
Love; another mistake we make. Falling in love with the wrong person sometimes affects us really badly, or teaches us lessons. Love... A weakness, a feeling that controls everyone. Love has taught me multiple times that things don't always go our way, that we cannot always have a 'happily ever after', and that people can pretend, people can lie. It all seems like things are well in the beginning, we feel special and loved. Like nothing bad can happen... until the bone-crushing pain we feel when we realize that none of it was real. While we fell in love, the other person saw us as an object, a project, a test... That moment when we realize that we've lost everything...
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to recharge its source. It dies of blindness errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.
Mistakes lead to pain. Pain leads to realization. Realization leads to change... The type of pain that everyone will experience in their lives. I've experienced it... more than once. The worst of them all was that day; the day I lost my best friend, the love of my life My mistakes, and my choices are what ruined everything. And because of my mistake, he's gone... I've learnt that the sorrow we feel of losing a loved one is the price we have to pay for having them in our lives. I have to live with that guilt forever. There's this saying that my aunt always told me; "The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change so that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding and love".
I'll survive... Somehow, I always do.
It's scary... The realization that the roots which were once a support that nourished me with hopes and dreams, to become the best version I can be really anchored the pain of betrayal and self-destruction within me. To become better. To carry the Mikaelson name to create lengths.
