' 'ᴍʏ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ ꜱᴛᴀʀ~' ' "私の." Yandere! Nagito X Fem! Reader.

~Is there a doctor nearby~

TW: massive spoilers.
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(Y/n POV)

As devastated as I am of the dead, I'm oddly exhausted. I struggle to keep my eyes open, and the words coming out of everyone's mouth seems distant, almost slurred. My classmates had expressed that a few days had passed, and there was a dreadful disease. four people were Infected; Myself, Akane, Ibuki, and Nagito. Akana and Nagito seem to have very hazy memory of the event, remembering barely any snippets if the past few days, but the memories were definitely there. I, on the other hand, have no recollection whatsoever. And that struck me as odd.

"Mikan." I call out. nobody was really talking, it seemed everyone was really just thinking about something, so I took the opportunity.

Her eyes made contact with me first, then she turned her head to face me. "Y-yes, (y/n)?"

"Please pardon me if this was already discussed, I'm extremely lethargic for some odd reason and I'm just wondering.. What was my disease?"

Mikan nods hesitantly. "W-we definitely h-have spoke-n about this, b-but your d-disease was th-the short term memory disease."

"... I see. thank you, please carry on." I neatly fold my hands atop my skirt and look down to the ground.

A bit more time passes, I genuinely can't pay attention.

"Is this true, (y/n)?" Hajime calls to me.

"Huh? Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry. I wasn't really paying attention.." I bow my head a bit.

".. It's fine. But is it true you and Nagito were sharing a room in the hospital?"

What?

",.. I'm sorry, but I thought it would be obvious by now that I have no Memory of my time at the hospital. I don't even remember being Ill.." I explain.

He nods. "Well the-"

"Yes, it's true.. (Y/n) and I shared rooms during the predicament." Nagito's words slowly became slurred throughout the sentence. I wonder if he's ok?

Hajime thought to himself. Eventually, his eyes widened in sudden realization as he quickly shot a concerned look to me and calmly laid his hands on his podium. He looked back to Nagito.

"Nagito," he began. Uncertainty and distrust laced his voice. "Did you, or did you not; take advantage of (y/n) during your time at the hospi-"

"I didn't 'take advantage' or her.. It was completely consensual." Nagito frowns.

I'm starting to Invision these dots, they're starting to become clear, but not enough for me to fully understand the point. I stare at the invisible string in my hand, then to Nagito. I could connect these dots, but in all honesty, l don't know if I want to.

"I don't understand, Nagito-kun.." I whisper. I tilt my head totothe right slightly.

Nagito looks at me and practically instantly melts from my presence.

"Eheh.. How about we.. Discuss this after the trial? Let's get back on track, shall we?" He struggled to pry his eyes off of me. Now I'm really concerned.

"What sort of sick joke is this..?" I breath out.

"Where were we? Oh yes. The alibi's." Nagito shakes his head. "Everyone from the hospital should obviously be eliminated of being a suspect. Everyone was far too weak to even move." Nagito raised his hand to his mouth, seemingly deep in thought.

I calm down a bit and take a deep breath. Ok, so, everyone that was infected was too weak to even think about taking another's life. That Ieaves.. Literally everyone else. Ugh. The entire right side of my head began to pound furiously. Ah.. Ouch.

I tap on hajime's shoulder, hence him being right next to me.

"Hajime-kun? Could you wake me up when something important happens?" I yawn.

He seemed to really think about the question.

"I really wish you wouldn't sleep, since this is all pretty important, but I'm guessing you don't have anything to offer for this trial.. Yes, I'll wake you up." He turns back towards everyone.

I guess Monokuma was in a nice mood, since a chair magically appeared right beneath me. I greatfully took a seat and quickly dozed off..

"THIS IS IT!" I woke to hajime shouting loudly. I open my eyes and he began to point towards Mikan. "You killed them."

I quickly sobered up from whatever exhaustion was left in me, and was fast to defend the girl. "W-wait! Hajime, are you sure..?" I cut myself off. I was asleep the whole trial. I cringe at myself, why am I so stupid?

"It's unfortunately clear that Mikan tampered withwith the evidence."

The room went silent. I refused to believe it. There's no way MY Mikan would even be eble to perform such a heinous crime. Too fragile. Too clumsy. Too-

"It's not fair.." Mikan mutters out across the room.

"... Wha-"

"It's not fair. Not fair. Not fair. not FAIR. NOTNOT FAIR. NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR!" She began screaming.

"I- I don't understa-" I was cut off by Mikan's sudden soft voice again.

"Why won't you forgive me? If it were you.. You'd forgive yourself right away!"

Is she saying that she actually did it? Is this her confession? No. I refuse to believe this.

"What did I do?! Why won't anyone forgive me!!?" She grasps clumps of her purple hair, gripping and pulling it harshly.

"But, there's no way she could have possibly been the murderer.. Sh-she was at the hospital the whole time, taking care of us!" I yell out, ready to knock down anything that goes against my belief that I long so excruciatingly for.

Hajime looks at me with pity and sorrow, but determination.

"Y/n. You need to quit acting like you know everything that's actually going on in this trial. You're blinded by the death of your dear friends and the accusation of your other one!" Nagito shudders at the thought of my entire being dripping in despair, mixing with the glorious hope wondrously gleaming throughout me. "Just hear Hajime out."

Creeeaaak.. Crack.

It's just now hitting me that this situation is real. I can't be one step ahead of everyone. I can't cheat out of this game. I can't do anything. I know nothing. I don't know who the person is behind this. I don't know who, is there is one, the traitor is. Everyone who has died us actually gone. They're never coming back...  I've been living this entire killing spree in my own protective shroud of lies, doubt, and hope.

Now I know....

All possible means of hope in this place..

It's gone.

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Ok so, the reason y/n's train of thought had been all whacky like "oh I know what's happening,, what the hell is happening??" Is pretty simple,,

She grew up never having control over anything. Ever. So, as soon as she could have a grasp on her own life, she loved control. Even in situations (like the killing game) where she had no control, she still tried convincing herself she even had a smallest bit of control in the situation. And her now realizing it is going to absolutely shatter her.

1183 words :)