ENTWINED (Complete)

TWENTY

ASHI'S POV

"Did he ask for me? Did he say anything about talking with me " I ask bhabhisa the same question I have been asking her for the last five days as soon as she enters my room and she replied the same way she does every day by kissing my forehead and caressing my head trying to give me a smile . I closed my eyes and sigh trying to stop my tears from running down knowing it will only upset bhabhisa more . Already she is in lot of stress with me here and bhaisa in hospital .

"Open your mouth" bhabhisa said and I realised she has brought food for me

"I don't feel like eating bhabhisa" I said not really in the mood to eat.

"It's your favourite.You need food for baby Ashi if not for yourself eat for the baby " she said and I opened my mouth and she fed me each morsel slowly explaining to me what to do and what not to do. Once I had my dinner she made me lie down in bed and covered me with a blanket and kissed my forehead before switching off the lights and instructing me to sleep .

A good Sleep has now become a distant dream . I always feared all those beautiful days I had with my Rishabhji turning into a dream and now that was what was happening with me. How I want to hold on to time and change it back where Rishabhji would be beside me only I know that.

It was five days back when we came to know about my pregnancy and the last time I saw him was five days back after which he had not come back to see me in hospital nor did he come back at home or called me. I know he calls bhabhisa everyday and asks about my health, my food but he doesn't talk with me. Initially bhabhisa would make excuses about him busy with bhaisa but three days back I told her that....that I know Rishabhji is avoiding me and she just hugged me tightly and asked me to give him time .

Bhabhisa explained to me that I see him as my angel ....as my god and he is just a human and I should see him as a human because there will be times when he too will need time for himself , he too will commit mistakes and that time I have to make sure we survive. And for that I have to see him as my equal. And this is one such time where I have to give him some time to cool off then explain to him . But every time it was him who would take the decision for us , take care of us ...how will I make us survive this....I need him

Everything was going on so well why this has to happen with me . I never knew I was pregnant and now I don't even know what he must be thinking about me ....did he think that I knew and hid my pregnancy and that is the reason he is avoiding me ...does he think that I cheated him ...I lied to him .... my god I hope he did not thought like that . I need to explain to him ....but will he belive me ? Already I was forced on him and now this child too.

My thoughts and my tears were not in my control........what if Rishabhji decided he did not need us ....if he asked us to leave what will I do .....where will I go .....what about my baby I thought and wrapped my hands around my stomach protecting my baby. I am not even capable of providing for myself how will I take care of my baby ......what if he drops me back to my tribe no...no I cannot go there ...they will kill my child ....they will kill my baby ....

I have to convince him some how ....I need to explain to him that I will be a good wife and the baby will be a good child to him ...baby will never disappoint him and will always follow his instructions....I will never ever give him reason to complain ....I will never ever upset him ...I will beg him to keep me . I thought crying ....Rishabhji never said anything about child his brother was clear he did not want an female child but I don't know about Rishabhji what if he too did not want an female child will he ask me to kill the child if she is a girl ....or since the child is not his it would not matter to him . He would just let me keep a child even if it is a girl till my child does not disturb him in anyway ....I will promise him I will not ask him anything for child just let me keep it .

Will he keep his distance with me like this always ? He was so good to me when we went for trip and even before that but since the time he came to know about the child he didnot even called me. I miss him ...I am so afraid ....I don't know what to do ....I am so clueless ....I want him near me ...I want to hug him ....I want him to caress my hairs and kiss me and hide me in himself . I want him to tell me that I am good for him ...I cannot live without him ....he has become my soul but if he left me I cannot even die now because I have to live for my child .

Everyone back then at tribe were right I am an unlucky girl who killed her mother at birth, brought back luck to my father then killed my husband and inlaws I thought and gasped . God I guess it is good if he stays away from me because I cannot even bring anything good for him....we were finally getting happy and I spoiled it all with my bad luck . I will ask him to keep my baby and leave me because I can never bring good to anyone .....they both can leave happily if they are away from me .....