Family Comes First

Chapter 16: Future Plans

The next few days seemed to melt together. I was in a happy routine. I would wake up when Jimmy's alarm went off, cook breakfast, clean, and then I would have dinner ready for them when they came inside. Jimmy and I stopped going to our room right after dinner. He would play cards with Tommy and I would watch. They tried to teach me once, but I was slow to pick it up and Tommy was getting frustrated. I told them to play without me and Jimmy promised to teach me later.

Every night before we would go to sleep, Jimmy would read to me. I had always struggled reading in school because I could not focus, but I enjoyed listening to Jimmy read.

Once Jimmy had finished, he put the book down on the nightstand, turned off the lamp, and laid down on the bed. We were facing each other and only the scarred side of his face was showing. I reached out and put my hand on his cheek. I traced my thumb along the deep indentation of his scarred flesh.

He leaned forward and kissed me. My body had been slowly healing itself. The swelling had gone down in my lip, and kissing Jimmy was no longer painful. My bruises were fading. I was able to move my wrist more, but I kept the bandage on.

He slid his hand across my ribs and pulled me in closer. The kiss deepened and my heart was pounding in my chest. We had not had sex since that stupid night where I tried to run away. My body may be healing, but I was not ready for that. I slid my hand down from his cheek and to his chest to try and push him away.

"No," I mumbled and he pulled away.

I bit down on my lip in fear. Jimmy did not like it when I said no to him. This would get a punishment for sure.

Jimmy rolled onto his back and pulled me with him. I yelped in pain as I did not expect my sore body to move. He put my head on his chest and wrapped his arms around me.

"There's something I need to talk to you about," he told me. "I know that you have not been here that long, and I am so proud of how you're settling in here."

"Thank you," I said.

"There's something we really haven't discussed before," he said. "You're my wife and you are supposed to provide me with a family."

"We are a family."

They had been kind enough to accept me into their family.

"Yeah," he said. "Dad, Tommy, you and I are a family. I was talking about our own family, like when we have children."

A lump was forming in my throat. I never planned on having kids before. I never wanted to have children that would live a life like mine, but I am happier now. Still, the thought of children scared me. I could not imagine being pregnant and giving birth.

"Don't worry," Jimmy said. "We don't have to try right away. We can still wait a couple of weeks. I just want you to be prepared. You're supposed to be providing this family with boys, and if you don't it looks bad on both of us."

"Okay," was all I managed to say.

"It's going to be so nice," he said. By the way he was speaking, I could tell that he had been thinking about this for a while. "The Fergusons down the street are getting older, and soon their house will be up for sale. We can move into there and I would still be able to help Dad out with the farm, and you could come over and help with the house. We'll have a bunch of boys who will always be running around and wanting to play. You will be a great mother."

I curled my fingers into Jimmy's chest and buried my face in him. I didn't want to think about the future right now. I wanted things to stay like this for a while; I was enjoying this. Jimmy's hand moved up and down to comfort me. He brought his lips down to kiss my forehead.

"Julie," he said. I nuzzled myself into his chest. "Julie, look at me."

His voice was a bit harsh so I looked up at him. He ran his fingers along my jaw.

"I'm always going to protect you," he told me. "You know that, right?"

"Yes," I said.

"Say it."

"You'll always protect me."

"Good girl." He kissed me. "I'll always protect you and our family."

"Thank you."

We stayed in each other's arms for a few minutes. I was replaying the future Jimmy told me about over and over in my head. I knew that I was not supposed to ask questions, but there was one that was burning my tongue.

"Jimmy?" I tested to see if he was still awake.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"How come when you talk about children, you only talk about boys?"

"Because I only want sons."

"Why? What if we had a daughter?"

"Julie," he snapped. He rolled over so that he was on top of me. "You know that you are not supposed to be asking questions."

"Why? I was just curious."

"I can't believe that I am going to have to do this."

Jimmy reached into his pocket. I craned my neck to see what he was doing. He pulled out his pocket knife. I sat up and pushed myself to the edge of the bed. Jimmy flicked the blade out.

"I have to punish you," he said.

"No," I said. "Please, don't. I promise I'll stop with the questions."

"This is the only way you'll remember your lesson."

"Please, Jimmy."

"I'll only cut you once. If you keep whining then I'll have to do more."

I held my arm against my chest. My heart was pounding and nausea crept into my bones. He has not cut me since the night I broke a dish.

"You need to trust me," he said. "Now, give me your arm."

I let out a shaky breath as I handed over my arm. Jimmy grabbed my wrist and pulled my arm out straight. I closed my eyes as he put the blade against my skin. I grit my teeth as he sliced the knife across my arm. I opened my eyes when the mattress moved as Jimmy got off of the bed.

He grabbed a towel from the bathroom. I put my hand under my arm to stop the blood from dripping onto the bed. He pressed the towel against my wound and that made it sting even more.

"Hold pressure on that," he told me.

I held onto the towel and he went back into the bathroom. He came back with a roll of gauze. He took the towel out of my hand and wrapped the gauze around my arm. He kissed the top of my head before getting up off of the bed.

"You need to have a better attitude in the morning," he said.

"Okay," I said.

We got ready for bed. When Jimmy lied down, he was facing away from me. It was the first time he had not held me as we fell asleep. It seemed so cold, and I struggled to fall asleep.