DARK WOODS CIRCUS | DWC Book 1

23. Part

♪ now playing: Alone With Myself by Citizen Soldier ♪

Warning:
Eating disorders

***

23. Part

I was left alone.

I could watch as the sun was beginning to rise, the warming rays shining through the cracks in the walls of the wooden cabin.

I was expecting anyone to open the entrance, grabbing me, pulling me out, but every second spent here, I've only uncontrollably twitched at any sound coming from any side around me.

My head was throbbing with harrowing pain, but that was the least of my worries as the fear and the thoughts were both louder than anything my body was feeling.

That was all a test.

I could feel my heart shaking, palpitating, the blood within circulating. I used my fingers to go through my hair, forgetting they weren't mine, and I hardly winced at the pain running through them at the pressure.

Not once I heard footsteps nearing my location, any voices wouldn't be heard, and the death stench around me was mind numbing, although with my eyes even with the light surrounding me, I couldn't find the cause.

I pushed my forehead against the wall made of wooden boards next to me, hitting my head, trying to quench the emotional, mental and physical sorrows.

It was a test.

With each breath I took, I wished that wasn't the case and I would not take another, but I wasn't able to fight my body as it automatically took the next one whenever I would stop myself.

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing to my eyes, and the cold temperates were intensely stinging my pale skin but I did not feel it.

I gave up trying to force open the space I was in a long time ago, not having any object to give me the helping hand as I was the only thing in this room, and what felt like forever ago, I stopped using the not heavy weight of my self to make the wall shatter and fall, as that was all I could do.

I wanted to scratch myself all over my face, my body, but I couldn't, not having any nails. I could only punch the walls, hoping someone would hear it and help me, fight the urge to pull out my hair and keep on hitting myself in order to feel so much pain I would stop thinking, and all the emotion made me dizzied to the point of choking on my vomit.

No one would come, and I knew it.

No one was going to come.

And I failed.

Everything happened faster than I could understand, but every second of what happened was stuck, repeating itself, in my mind, and the entire time, I was clearly seeing it all play out in front of me as if I was still there, holding the gun.

Len's probably dead.

He said if I refuse to shoot, he'll kill him. He also said that there's a bullet but there wasn't one.

What's true and what's a lie?

Is it my fault Len's dead? If I pulled the trigger, he would be alive. I wouldn't be stuck here.

Instead, I pulled it on Ziraki, and Ziraki lived.

I wouldn't shoot Len.

And now he's dead.