The hardest love

My first child

Fast forwarding to 2010, by June I was single yet again and out of control even my parents knew it attitudes left and right, moody all the time, or sleep. The whole summer I partied hard until August when I noticed I hadn't had a period in a while. I got thinking and I remembered sneaking around with Roderick one time back in April. My body never changed I was still slim, but my appetite did pick up I had noticed that. I talked to my best friend Dee about it and she told me about this free pregnancy clinic come to find out I was going on 4 months pregnant. I cried and I was so scared I had just graduated high school I wasn't ready to be a mom, but I was more worried about what my dad was going to say. I went to Dee's job and told her the news she stood with me outside as I told my dad I just knew he was going to disown me. To my surprise he told me well you grown now I'll help you the best I can, but you need to tell your mama. I went home and waited until my mom walked through the doors from work and I sat her down and told her and she looked at me and said I knew something was up with you how far along are you when I told her she was shocked. All the liquor had caught up with me and not in the way that I was expecting. I was due to have my first born my son January 2, 2011. I had told Roderick and his first words were to get an abortion I had already told my mom about that and she told me she wouldn't give me money for that nor would my dad. I spread my legs to make him I had to grow up and raise him. The pregnancy took a big toll on my body due to me being so small that my baby boy came almost 2 months early. Thanksgiving day I ate so much I thought I was gonna burst! At 12 that morning I crawled to my moms door in agony pain I knew something wasn't right I'm glad I did. My cousin Stacy was in town and he offered to take me to the hospital. Where they immediately took me to the back to stop all the contractions Jamarian was trying to come right then! My cervix was already opened and I was dilated to a 3 even the morphine they gave didn't work. I called my mom and let her know they were going to do an emergency C-section my placenta had ruptured. Jamarian Da'Shun Martin came at 9:09 that morning, but he was not crying my mom tried to keep me calm, but I could tell from the doctors actions he was dead. I was in and out of consciousness due to the meds they gave me and 4 minutes later I finally heard his cry and I threw up and passed out. When I woke up my mom brought me to meet my son. He was so long but so small I asked if he was ok they let me know he was born dead so he was trying to catch up, he had jaundice so they had a special light on him, and a body full of hair which explained all the acid reflux lol. I will never forget the day I met my true first love Jamarian on November 27, 2010. Roderick wasn't around and didn't want to I became a single mom and my parents became my hero's.