𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐬

FORTY-EIGHT: okay to cry.

ROBIN GOT HER and James an Uber, gave her girlfriend a little kiss on the cheek and James just hugged Steve, giving the top of his head before they part ways from the others who were headed to the mall nearby. "I have a question for you. A quick Q." James whispers after they got into the Uber.

"Yeah, Jamie?" Robin glanced up at him and he sighs. "It's weird to ask, but are you and Nance having sex?" He whispers and she furrows her brows. "Yeah, we are. Are you secretly a perv? Do you get off on lesb--" "No! Jesus!" He exclaims then glanced at the Uber driver who peered at them through the rearview mirror curiously so he just smiled apologetically before looking back at Robin.

"Oh, my God, Rob, it's not like that." He whispers and she just sighs. "Then what is it like?" She asked and he glanced away. "How do you get to that point? Like... getting over it? And getting under someone?" He asked and she raised a finger. "I think you and I both know very well we're both tops." She says and he glanced at her, rolling his eyes.

"Fine, yeah... but how do you do that? Like, letting go of what happened?" He asked and she sighs. "You don't, but you find a way to cope, and realize not everyone is like the person who did it to you." She says and he nods, glancing away. Not everyone is like the person, people in his case, who did it to you. Steve isn't like that. "Plus, it took me like longer, maybe a year or so, nearly two..." She tells him.

"But I want to!" He looks at her, and she nods. "Uh-huh..." She says, raising her brows and James sighed. "Uh, like, I want Steve, obviously, I really do... But, sometimes, I tend to freak out." He whispers and she raises a hand to his shoulder. "Then this place will really help you out." She smiles widely.

The car stops and they hop out. A rage room. "Oh..." James said and she pats his arm. "Yeah, come on." She leads the way inside and in there, Robin tells the woman their names who shows them papers to sign, then leads them to another room with protective gear. "Then go through that door and you'll find stuff to wreck, go crazy!" She smiles then Robin smiled widely. "Come on, James!"

In the rage room, James watched Robin break so many vases and fake walls put up, as she screams out very tame stuff, like, angry at failing a mid-term three months ago, forgetting her favourite pair of Vans back home, each hit was followed by silly little stuff, until she said something about how stupid she was for spilling soda on Nancy's paintball outfit, where she stopped and cried while laughing. "Woah, hey, hey, why are you crying?" James said and Robin turns to face her friend.

"It's just... stupid. Why did I say sorry so many times as if Nancy was gonna yell at me the way my mom use to?" She's sobbing again while laughing and James frowns. "It helps, James. Try it." She held up the sledgehammer and he gently took it into his own hands. He stepped up to the fake wall and she just stood to the side, wiping away at her tears under the protective goggles she put back on.

James took a moment, staring at the wall, then he started swinging at it ferociously, he didn't yell out stuff like Robin did. But he thought of it. Fuck you, Billy. Fuck you, Tommy. Fuck you, Carol. And fuck me, for being such a shitty boyfriend. A shitty son. A shitty brother. Why am I so shitty? Why is life so shitty? The thoughts were endless but Robin was right, it helped get rid of the anger and sadness through breaking shit. He's broken vases, walls, even glass, and a bunch of old tv's.

Robin just stood there, watching him let all of his rage out until he stopped. She waited for the crying to start, ready to go to his side when he does, but he didn't, just dropped the sledgehammer handle and sat down, sighing quietly. "You okay?" She walks over, kneeling down beside him and he just stared at the floor. "Yeah." He nods softly.

"It's okay to cry... it's okay to not be okay." She whispers so quietly James almost couldn't hear her, then the tears came. First slowly, they well at his eyes and he turned his face away, but the moment Robin slowly moved up and wrapped her arms around him, he sobbed into her embrace. "Is this okay?" She asked, brushing her fingers through his hair gently and he nods softly, crying in her arms.