Fever

6

"Slow down, Iero," JD admonished me. "Mystery man is Gerard? And he said what now?"

I ruffled my own hair and reclined on my worn out couch.

"He asked me not to go. Said he needed me. Said he always needs me."

"Wow."

"Uh huh. Talked me into getting into bed with him to keep him warm and told me he had me where he wanted me. Called me Frankie. Called me 'sugar'."

"And you still don't think he's into guys? Guys like, I dunno- you?"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't think he knew who he was talking to."

"You just said he called you by name."

"Then the fever was playing with his heterosexuality."

"Ah yes, the well known phenomenon where you get so sick you turn LGBTQ. They've published many an article about that."

"He's not gay, JD."

"And neither am I, but I have a boyfriend. And neither are you, but we're still having this conversation."

“Much to your amusement.”

“Only a little. My point is, you discovered something new about yourself. Recently. Maybe he’s done the same.”

I sighed. “Maybe.”

“You should talk to him.”

“And say what? ‘I know you said you don’t remember this morning, so let me upset your entire self-image and tell you I think you might not be straight?’”

He laughed. “Obviously not. How about, ‘Hey, you said some things this morning that I’d really like to talk to you about.’”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I don’t think I can do that.”

“What’s the worst that could happen, really?”

I couldn’t believe he had actually asked. “Are you serious? Let’s go through this. He’s one of my best friends. I could lose him altogether. If I lose him, I lose the band. That’s my entire world right now. If I lose the band, I lose Ray and Mikey- also two of my best friends. My life could go up in smoke.”

“You think you’d lose Ray and Mikey if you lost Gerard?”

“Jesus man, I don’t know. It’s a possibility.”

There was a long pause. "Then they aren't really very good friends."

This upset me. "Hey, you know what? Fuck you, man. They're amazing friends."

"Then losing them isn't a concern, so take that off your list of things that could go wrong." He was calm. Not at all phased by being cussed out. That was sort of typical JD, though. Took everything in stride. Cool as a cucumber, always.

"I guess you have a point," I admitted, quietly.

"Would talking to Mikey be a good idea or a bad idea?"

I hardly waited for him to stop speaking before I answered. "I swear he knows something already. But there's no way I'm flat out telling him. How weird. 'Hey man, I, a straight guy, have a crush on your brother, who is also a straight guy. What do I do?'"

"Still telling yourself you're straight, huh?"

"Well. No. I guess not. Not always. I mean I'm clearly not."

"Clearly."

"Bisexual, I guess? Maybe pan?" I hadn't thought about it, really.

JD called himself bi.

"Label doesn't matter right now unless you want it to. You have all the time in the world to sort it out. And people change their label all the time when they discover a new aspect of themselves. Nothing wrong with it," he assured me.

I looked at the clock. Nine PM. Was it too late to check on Gerard? He'd told me to, and I'd promised I would- in the morning. But I sort of wanted to hear his voice. No way was I going to bring up his behavior from earlier though. I just wanted to see how he was doing. Hopefully better.

"Thanks, JD. I was going kind of crazy beating myself over the head with all this. Glad I have somebody to talk to."

"You're welcome, my friend," he answered. "Oh, and Frank?"

"Uh huh."

"Juliet says to tell you she's not mad anymore. She thinks the whole thing with Leah is actually a little funny now. So you're safe to come by anytime."

"Will Leah be around?"

"I'll give her warning that you're coming over if you don't just show up out of the blue."

"And if I just pop over unannounced?"

"Then good luck, dude."

~~*~~

I texted Gerard before I called.

You awake?

His answer took a few minutes, so I was starting to think he was still sleeping his illness off. But then my phone went off.

For now.

I hit the call button and he answered immediately.

"Hey." His voice sounded tired. 

"How you feeling?"

"A little better, actually. Still bad. But better."

That was a start.

"Need anything?" I asked, half hoping he would ask me to come over bearing chicken soup.

He coughed dryly. "Nah. I don't want you to catch whatever this is."

"It's too late for that concern, man. I was all up in your business for hours." 

Fuck. Why couldn't I ever filter my thoughts?

"What do you mean?" he asked slowly. Suspiciously.

Think fast, Iero.

"I just mean I had to drag you from the restaurant with your arm around my shoulders. Then you were in my car. And then I had to help you into the house and get you into bed…"

"Hours, huh?"

"Well, you didn't want to be left alone at first. So I took your temperature and sat with you for a bit. And then I napped on your couch, so I was around your germs, you know?"

This seemed to satisfy him. "Gotcha. Thanks again. Sorry I'm so needy when I'm sick."

"It was no problem. It's what friends are for or some bullshit, right?"

"I'd take care of you if you needed me."

I licked my lips. "You would?"

"Without hesitation. You ever need me, I'm there."

I needed him. Badly. I'd better end the call before I slipped and told him as much.

"You sure you don't need anything?"

"Make sure I'm alive in the morning? I think I'm gonna pass out again."

"Pass out?" I was worried.

"Fall asleep, Frankie. Just fall asleep."

He called me Frankie again. I grinned like a fool.

"Oh. Okay. Sleep well."

We ended the call and I decided I might as well go to bed too. It was stupid early for me, but I didn't feel like staying awake and pining all night.

My bed was very cold and very empty after sharing one with Gerard not twelve hours earlier. Pulling the covers over my head, I fell into a blissfully dreamless sleep.