Just the typical sad marvel thing /Peter

╔══•XI•══╗

Peter's pov:
As Bucky leaves, I hear someone coming into my room. I can tell by the footsteps that it's May so I'm safe if I just put on my hoodie. "Hey sweetie" she hugs me. "Hi May" I hug her back. "How was the cinema?" "It was good, we had a good time. Are you okay? You looked so tired before" "I'm okay, don't worry." I smile at her. "Go to sleep now. I know you slept before but you look like you need more rest" she says as she puts a kiss on my forehead. "Good night," she says before stepping out of my room. "Night," I respond.

I get ready for bed and turn off the lights. Of course, I can't sleep. I'm thinking about the things with Bucky today. I shouldn't have told and shown that to him. I made him worry and sad and he'll tell it to people. I'm so stupid. It's my fault now. Everyone will feel bad because of me. Why did I even hit Matthew? Why did I even do anything? I'm so useless, I couldn't even cover anything. Everything is my fault. I keep overthinking things, it's getting worse and worse. I hate overthinking. And I know that there's only one way to make it stop. I'm already crying so much. I have to, I can't anymore. I sit up and grab my box of blades.

Bucky's pov:
I'm heading back to the compound. On my way, I'm thinking about what could I do. Or what could we do? But I kind of promised him that I wouldn't tell about it to anyone. I'd feel guilty if I told them that. But what if I have to? What if I can't find a solution to get him away from Matthew?

I arrive. I step inside and get greeted by Tony so my thoughts fly away. "Hi Bucky, it's late where were you?" "Uhm... I just had to do a couple of things." Before Tony could ask anything more, I leave him there confused and head to my room. I'm packing some things when Steve comes into my room. I know it's him so I don't even turn around to see. "Buck," he says. "Yea?" I know what he wants but I ignore him. I can't tell him. "Buck..." he says again. I stop, I freeze. I'm looking down at the ground. "Steve... no" "You can't do this Bucky. I know you were at Peter's. What happened? Tell me." "I just told you no," I say. After a few minutes, he asks "Why?" "Because I just can't! I can't tell you, Steve!" I finally face him. "He made you promise, didn't he?" I don't answer, I just turn around and keep doing my things. "Okay. But you'll have to tell at least Tony. He's like his father" Steve says and then goes out of the room.

It was already too much today. I'm too stressed and tired. I don't even finish packing. I sit down on my bed and let out a shaky sigh. Thoughts of Peter come back and feeling of helplessness and sadness. I get flashbacks from his bruises and cuts. His arm and neck. It was so painful to even watch. He looked so exhausted from everything and it was just the first day of him being back home. I realize that I'm panicking again. I've had panic attacks before so I can calm myself down and go to bed.

I wake up to Peter standing in front of me. "Bucky could you help... please" his voice is shaky and there are tears in his eyes. He comes closer and I see his arms cut up to the bone, bleeding to the floor. He basically standing in a puddle of deep red blood. "I'm sorry" he cries. "Oh my gosh. Okay come, we need Bruce right now"  We go down to the med bay together but I can't find Bruce. I search everywhere in the lab but I can't find him. "Okay, wait here Pete. I'll go and get Bruce from somewhere." I say and I go up to search for him. I know I have to be fast but I can't seem to find anybody in the compound. I'm panicking even more now. I don't know what to do and I don't know where's everyone. After a failed attempt of finding anyone, I rush back to Peter, knowing that he needs help and at least I'm here. I'm just entering med bay when I see him lying on the ground with his arms bled out. "Peter. Peter." I shake his body. I check the pulse, he still has a pulse but I don't know what to do. I cry and panic. I'm searching for some stitches with my shaky hand but I can't even find them now. I realize we're not even in the med bay anymore. We're at... hydra? How? And then I get slapped in the face and someone's saying this in Russian "Mission report." And I see Peter on the ground also, trapped by hydra. Everything is so confusing and then I'm under the machine that's about to brainwash me. The moment it starts, I start screaming, it hurts so much.

My eyes pop open and I wake up in my bed sweating. My breathing is fast and I realize I cried. After a little time, I realized that was a nightmare and I get out of bed. I go down to get some water. As I pour water into my cup, my mind is on the nightmare I just had. I sigh and I lay my head on my hands, on the counter. I cry silently. I don't even know why and why there, but I do. I need to tell this to someone, it's so much pressure. I stay there, at the counter for a couple more minutes, thinking. Thinking about the whole thing, who would be the best to tell? Then with my unanswered thoughts, I try and go back to sleep.