Just the typical sad marvel thing /Peter

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Nat's pov:
I'm impatiently waiting at Clint's door when the clock hits 1:25 pm, I have to get everyone to come to training. I start banging and knocking on everyone's door. When I reach Peter's door, I see that it's slightly open and I see him sleeping in his bed. I remember that he looked so upset in the morning so I let him sleep. He must feel so overwhelmed. I leave him there and I go over to everyone else's doors. Then I go down to the training area and tell Tony that Peter won't be down cause he's sleeping. Of course, he understands and we begin training and practicing.

Peter's pov:
When I'm sure everyone is gone, I open my eyes and get out of bed. Now I just need to go to Bucky's room and get my blades. It was a good idea to fake sleep, I'll use that more often. I think to myself as I'm going to his room. When I reach Bucky's door, I don't open it immediately. I check if there's no one inside, I press my ear to the door and try to listen if there's anyone in there. I don't hear anything so I carefully turn the doorknob and open in. I step inside and just take a moment to look around. He's not a really organized person, so there are some clothes and random things on the floor and couch but overall his room looks fine. After I looked over everything I begin to think about where he would put my blades. I looked under the furniture and on his shelves and drawers but nothing. Then when I'm going through his bathroom, I saw surprisingly, quite a lot of sleeping pills and anxiety pills. I didn't even know he had anxiety. And then a small box. I open it. There are my blades. Also, I see a  lighter with something on it. I take it in my hands to see it better. I look closer and as I recognize what it is, I immediately put it back. "What the hell?" I whisper. I know what it is but I don't want to admit it to myself. I don't wanna take the lighter cause that would be too noticeable but it concerns me. It has... blood on it. I just take my blades and close the bathroom cabinet. I check if I left anything suspicious in the room and turn off every light. I go back to my room and keep thinking about that lighter. Was that his blood? Did I make him do that to himself? I sure caused a lot of problems for him nowadays. Maybe he self-harmed because of me. Why do I do that to everyone? I seriously just make everything worse.

Now that I have my blades back, I feel the urge to do it again, but now that I've been thinking about these I want it even more. I'm back in my room, sitting on the bed with my box. I try to resist the urge and not hurt myself. So I sit in silence, sobbing, overthinking for hours. It just gets worse each minute, It's so loud, I hate it. I don't even know how much time passed or what happened, I can just focus on my thoughts. I keep telling myself that I'm okay and I don't need that but it doesn't help anything. After two hours of crying, I decided to give in. It honestly disappoints me that I couldn't make it out without self-harm. But it was really a lot and loud, and I was just so exhausted.

I'm just laying on my bed, without moving. I'm cold but I don't move, I'm too exhausted. After a couple of minutes, I hear the others come back from training. I hear the talking and the noise. So I have to get the blanket and put it on myself to fake sleeping, in that case, if anyone comes to my room. As I sit up, the fabric moves on my arm and I feel how the scars start burning. I try to ignore it and close my eyes as soon as I hear someone coming up the stairs. I hear them stop. I'm not sure where they stopped but I feel that someone's here. I carefully open my eyes, just as small to see the silhouette of them. I see a short-haired person, I figure out it's a male, he has muscles and a glass in his hand. From the glass, I know that it's Tony. He always drinks a single malt scotch with ice after practices or stressful missions. I close my eyes back so he doesn't notice that I'm awake. I hear him come inside and then feel him sit on my bed. I feel him looking at me and then surprisingly his hand on my back. I figure out that he wants to wake me up so I open my eyes, stretch my arm, the one that's not hurt, and yawn. "Oh hi Tony," I say. "Hey, kid," he smiles at me. "I have something to ask you." Thousands of thoughts go across my mind before he starts speaking again. "Do you think you're able to come to training tomorrow?" he asks "Yea I think so" I say. "It's okay if not, you can be honest." "No, I wanna come, I'm okay." He nods after a little while. He stays there on my bed but doesn't say anything, I wonder why he does that. Before I could ask if there was anything else he wanted, he stands up and goes out of my room. "Then tomorrow at 10 am," he says before closing the door of my room.