Leaps and landings

6

Jess was edgy and angry the entire weekend that followed, and the week after that. He recognized the feeling of powerlessness from a decade ago, where it was the guys with money, the likes of Logan Huntzberger, who had all the power. They had the options and he had to just settle with whatever he got. And now - while Jess was certainly a lot more capable, more powerful, wealthier and a lot more connected, also more determined, he was still just as useless at helping her. He wanted to call her, say something - assure that he could and would help her, but he couldn't. He even contemplated calling Logan, asking for his help, but as she'd said a friend of his was already on it, he felt that wouldn't do anything other than bringing out the whole issue of them even having (had) relations. He didn't particularily want to share that with Logan, it felt too private, and there was a also a certain element of pride there.

"Fuck!" he muttered as he slammed his loft door closed back in Philly, having gotten home from another day at work where he'd struggled to concentrate. This felt incredibly unfair!

The thought of Odette made him ache - gorgeous, friendly, funny, resourceful and intelligent woman - and her life had played her a hand that despite her wealth was destroying her chances at happiness.

He did the only thing constructive he could think of. He brewed himself a cup of coffee, and poured a glass of scotch along with it, opened his laptop and threw himself to work. He hadn't planned to write it, having another plot in mind from earlier, but the situation, while utterly frustrating, painful and reminding an awful lot of one or two historic tragedies of love, he allowed the words, that soon formed sentences as if having a mind of their own, to flow out of him.

He had never cursed so much through his writing process than now. He naturally altered the names and exact events, but used the narrative and everything he was feeling - everything felt too raw not to be used. All that emotion had to be good for something.

Jess spent each evening doing the same, contemplating several times along his day whether he should still call her and what he chould say even if just to assure her that she had another friend who cared. But within that powerlessness - he threw his phone into the couch, knowing that if he did call - she would also hurt more.

After having spent the weekend mostly behind the closed door of her room, along with some wine, sad songs and self-pity, leaving her eyes red and puffy, Odette tried what she could, but she wasn't sure if she could hide the traces of it on her face when she went downstairs to get her food, trying to choose the time when there was the least chance of running into either Rory or Logan. She just didn't want to explain, it hurt too much.

She'd gone from a sobby teenager crying for the loss of a guy, who she hadn't ever truly had - it had been like the most effective teaser of what could've been, to crying her eyes out for the loss of a child she never had. The latter feeling far more irreplaceable, if she were to be honest.

It was sometime Monday afternoon when she knew she needed to pull herself together. If the game was indeed lost - what she could do was prepare herself. She made a list of her loose ends that she would need to pull together before she returned to France, though hoping to stay as long as possible. She also sat down and wrote the press release so she would have it ready when the ball dropped. In it she took the blame, stating that she loved someone else, causing regretfully the shattering of her marriage to Logan Huntzberger. Maybe 'love' was too strong of a word, but she'd chosen the wording rather in spite of his father than anything else. It was like her inner teenager screaming "papa, j'ai adorée ma vie sans vous" (*dad, I loved my life without you).

Rory had observed Odette throughout the week, seeing that despite her trying to hide it the best she could, she'd been crying - and that it was difficult to get her to talk much about anything other than simple discussion about what take-away to order or who would do the shopping that week. Rory felt guilty for putting Odette in this situation, and now for leaving her alone in a sense, as their own move with Logan progressed. While Rory dealt with her own fears, she still had a sense of hope now - their own home, their family, which she barely dared to think about the baby. Her relationship seemed stronger than it had ever been. And seeing Odette like that just made her heart wrench - Odette had done this for Logan and in hope for a better life for herself, she gone along with everything also for Rory and now they couldn't help her.