Leaps and landings

18

The image of Odette when she had spoken about her dream of a baby, haunted Jess, making him wonder - If the thought of it could make her glow like that, what would the real thing do? He wanted her to be that happy. He wanted it to be him that made her that happy. The thought that he might have the power to make that happen for her intrigued him and he had pondered for weeks now about whether he was actually cut out to be a father. However, on that thought, he seemed to have more doubts than certainty.

First of all, he had always been a firm believer of letting things happen - if kids were going to happen for him, surely they just would. A broken condom or a desire so strong that it just couldn't wait? But condoms were of good quality these days - he hadn't broken a single one in the past ten years and he'd gotten so used to using them it hardly ever spoiled the moment, besides it was not like vaginal sex was the only way to enjoy sex if for some reason one was not available, and he'd proved to have enough self control over the years to never slip. But somehow, he'd never really imagined being in a position to actually have the control over having a child. Did he have the courage to take the leap?

Secondly, he didn't really know a whole lot about his genetic profile - was he actually a good candidate to father a child? He knew bits and pieces of the family medical history from his mother, but neither she nor Luke had ever told him much about his grandparents. His dad's side was even more of a mystery. He hated the thought that Odette had just picked some guy off a catalogue - a guy whose record was spotless, someone who was an Ivy league graduate and took tests well. He could never quite understand how one could trust someone just based on a form. But Jess was fairly sure that he wouldn't look half as good on the pages of a catalogues with his medical profile having more questionmarks than answers along with his night school diploma and trade school education, no matter how many books he'd read during his life. Would that really be enough for her?

Thirdly, all of his knowledge about actually raising a child had been in relation to Doula, and that he'd seen mostly when visiting, which didn't happen that often, or when they called, once a month or sometimes every couple of weeks. A child was perhaps the biggest responsibility of all. It was for forever. Other than Luke, who wasn't a great communicator either, Jess didn't really have good role models, quite the contrary. For all he knew, he might freak out just like his father had after he was born. And he didn't want to let anyone down like that.

There was only one of these things he could actually do anything about, and that was the reason he was now sitting at his kitchen table spitting into a vial for a couple of minutes already, after having read the thick booklet he'd gotten with the in-home genetic testing kit. He had needed to do something.

As soon as Logan had settled into his new position at the board, he and the new CEO had begun setting the tone in HPG enough, that even the spring gala of the US division was no longer a predictable Gotham Hall event. The guestlist had been reviewed, making sure even the smaller partners were invited, vegan alternatives served along with the others and the press access was limited only to the red carpet area at the guest entrance. With Mitchum not participating for the first time in more than four decades it almost felt like a brand new company.

The two couples arrived in a joint limo to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, driving right past the guest entrance where the red carpet was, skipping the publicity stunt. Surely the press was a little disappointed, but Logan had explained that because he was not the CEO, it was time the press learned to mind their own business.

Jess wore a double buttoned vest and a slim fitting tux and matching pants, finding a good balance between what was expected and he felt comfortable with, because more than anything he despised the classical penguin look. Odette looked incredible, having settled for the fishtail dress with the open back, the sensation of Jess's hand on her bare back, making her stomach flutter. She'd curled her hair just in case she did end up on the background of any of the selfies people were bound to take at the event. To Jess it didn't quite look like her, but supposedly that was the aim. Jess didn't like the fact that she always had to worry and hide herself. But he realized it didn't really matter as long as it was still her and the was grateful that she had agreed to come.