"I'm really happy for you. Yaknow. Chasing your dreams and all. It's really inspiring."
Clara, who was expecting him to confess his feelings, feels her heart droop inside her chest.
"Awww. Thanks Jay. That means a lot. You know that you're inspiring too right? To so many people. All across the country," she replies.
Jason hates himself now. He's kicking himself in his mind. He now wishes he had told her. But he knows nothing would be the same if he does confess. He fears for what could happen if things don't work out between them. He'd rather keep the group together without any awkwardness in case they break up.
Jason can't say anything else. He looks back at Clara and just smiles.
//////////////
*August, Freshman Year of College*
"Ok. Thanks mom!" Clara yells through her mom's car window.
"Anak! You always call me ok?! Call me when you land!"
"Yes mom I will!" She yells again, this time rushing towards the entrance to the airport.
Clara is now leaving for UCLA. She has her bags packed to the brim, the zippers barely closing. She rummages through her backpack for her plane ticket.
"Out of all the people, you chose Edwin to keep watch for Clara?" whispers Kyle.
"Tommy go with Ed," instructs Jason.
Tommy runs to the entrance of the men's bathroom where Ed is hiding. He finds Ed on his phone, scrolling through TikTok.
"What are you doing you dingus?!" Tommy exclaims.
"What?" Ed says bluntly.
"Get behind the wall doofus."
Tommy, hiding behind the entrance, looks around the corner and sees Clara.
"There she is, there she is..." Tommy says.
He waves his hands to signal the group, who are standing directly across. He accidentally smacks a man coming out of the bathroom.
"Oohpp, I'm so sorry sir," Tommy apologizes.
Clara enters the airport and motions towards the check-in.
The group suddenly pop out from around the corner. Jamie and Mariella, crying, come out first, holding a banner saying 'GO CLARA!' Jason, Kyle, and Mike follow, holding balloons. Tommy and Edwin run out of the bathroom and join the group.
Clara jumps in shock, almost dropping her phone. She looks at her friends, tears building up in her eyes.
"Awwwww, you guys!" she says, running over to them. She corrals everyone in for a group hug.
The group walks Clara to her gate. They say their final farewells as they call people to begin boarding.
"We'll miss you Clara!" Tommy, Ed, and Mike cry out.
"Awwwww, I'll miss you weirdos," Clara says laughing.
"See you soon babes," Mariella whispers as she hugs Clara.
"BIG BEAR HUG FOR YOU," Kyle yells as he joins them.
"KYLEEEEE OWWWW!" the two girls yell.
"Huyyy Clara, don't forget about us ok?" Jamie says, sniffling.
"Oh stop girl, you know I would never," Clara replies as she hugs her.
"FaceTime always ok?" Jason says, his chest begins to feel heavy after trying to keep his emotions dampened.
"Always," Clara says, hugging him too.
"NOW BOARDING, FLIGHT DL1348, JFK TO LOS ANGELES"
"That's my flight guys. I'll see you all soon ok?! I love you guys!!" Clara says as she walks towards her boarding gate.
"We love you!" the group shouts back as they wave goodbye. They then walk back towards the exit of the airport.
They all get back to their cars, bid each other farewell, and drive home.
Jason's drive home is the quietest his car has ever been. He usually has his music blasting as he drives. This time, he prefers silence. As soon as he gets home, he jumps on his bed and stares at the ceiling.
"Why you gotta torture me like this Clara?" he says in his mind.
He closes his eyes.
He begins imagining Clara. Her beautiful brown eyes, sparkling in the sun. Her sweet, dewy lips shining and reflecting the light. Her silky hair, falling perfectly across her face.
Jason breaks into a hissy fit on his bed, grabbing his pillow and biting it in regret.
He takes out his phone, pulls up his messages and clicks on Clara's name.
He then types out *I love you*.
He stares at the message, the blinking cursor staring back at him.
He deletes it, each letter of the message disappearing, one by one.
YOU ARE READING
kundiman.
Romancekundiman // tagalog // noun. : a traditional Filipino love song or serenade // kundiman - kung 'di man Jason and Clara: two friends, mixed signals, regret. Circumstances strike left and right, and the two seem to be destined to never be more than st...
