Stellar Evolution/credits to "orphan_account?" on ao3

part 1

P.s my friend wanted me to put this on Wattpad so if the creator is not comfortable with this then I'll delete it immediately.

"Farewell, my companions!" Tsukasa shouted, smiling and waving to his friends. He watched each of their responses: Emu waved both of her arms back and forth, yelling "Bye, Tsukasa!", Nene rolled her eyes while smiling and gave a small wave, and Rui hesitantly waved goodbye. Tsukasa turned towards the gates of Phoenix Wonderland and began to walk towards them. He thought today's rehearsal had gone rather smoothly. The show was in only two days, so there really wasn't a lot of time to have bad rehearsals. With each step, Tsukasa's smile faded a bit more. It had returned to a neutral expression by the time he'd reached the Phoenix Wonderland gates. He pushed one of them slightly open and walked towards his home.

Tsukasa had convinced himself his goal was to make people smile. To be the best star in theater there was. To his personal standards, he'd failed in both. It wasn't difficult to determine. He'd especially noticed it recently. During performances, he'd noticed small mistakes he'd made during singing, choreography, or while delivering lines. Nothing was ever perfect, like he needed it to be. His friends, on the other hand, were always able to perfectly project their voices and sing the melodies instructed of them without fail. Was he really making the show any better?

If he were to withdraw from the troupe, would they really notice any difference?

"Saki, I'm home." He announced, opening the door. There was no response. Tsukasa took his house key out of the door and shut it. His parents weren't home from work yet, which was fine. But usually, Saki was home by now. Maybe she just went to hang out with her friends after school. He couldn't blame her, he left her home alone every day to practice with the theater troupe.

How childish of him.

He climbed up the stairs to his room and locked the door tightly behind him. He didn't want anyone in the world to see him when he was by himself.

No one needed to see the real Tsukasa Tenma.

Cheerful, spectacular, perhaps even cocky—that was not Tsukasa Tenma. The real one was a liar. A perfectionist. Childish. Insecure. Far less pleasant than the one everyone was used to.

Tsukasa sighed and laid down on his bed. His room usually had the sunlight pouring in from all angles, but he had shut the curtains on the windows for today. Usually they were kept wide open. But he figured if no one was there to ask him why he was acting so strange, then there was no need for him to act as usual. The only light that was there was the faint light from the area outside his room and some LEDS in the shapes of stars that Rui had made him.

There were a few buzzes from his phone, which he ignored. What made your performance today inferior to your friends? He asked himself. He would ask himself this question after rehearsals, then he would practice the flaw. Over, and over, and over again. Until it was perfect. It couldn't be anything less.

After a while of practicing, he heard his phone buzz. He ignored it. It was just a distraction.

Then it buzzed again. Once again, he ignored it. It wasn't important.

And then there was not only beeping, but his ringtone. He sighed loudly and picked his phone up. It was Rui. Horrible timing, he thought. Reluctantly, Tsukasa picked up.

"Tsukasa speaking." He mumbled.

"Hi, Tsukasa. I just wanted to call you and tell you me, Emu, and Nene are planning to visit the SEKAI to see the others at around 7 tonight. You don't have to come, if you're busy or something." Rui responded.

"Yeah, I'm busy." Tsukasa snapped, a bit colder than he wished for it to be. He began to press the hang-up button on his phone, but was interrupted by Rui shouting "Wait!" at him over the phone. He stopped, and listened.

"Was everything alright toda-" Rui started. Tsukasa hung up immediately, and tossed his phone back on his bed. On the other end, Rui paused and looked at his phone, which had returned to his home screen instead of remaining on the call screen. He stared at it for a moment, before putting it back in his pocket and continuing home. Regret and worry filled him, but he didn't know how to react.

Tsukasa cleared his throat and tried practicing again. It wasn't perfect yet. His voice would crack during certain parts. He'd mess up a step. He wouldn't be projecting his voice as loud as he needed to. He'd mess up a lyric or two and then get completely thrown off. He'd yell at himself for messing up.

Everything had to be absolutely perfect if he wanted to be a star.

It was about his 70th time restarting The World Hasn't Even Started Yet when the lyrics really started to stick.

Hey! Let's cross the end of all of this, partying forever

Hey! Spinning on a never-ending merry-go-round

Hey! This world hasn't even started yet

Hey! A birthday lasting every second and minute

Hey! In the depths of Hell, a happy ending plays out

Hey! This world hasn't even started yet.

He had remembered Miku and KAITO saying something like the song was supposed to represent his true feelings. As he repeated the lyrics to himself while singing, they became more recognizable. Tsukasa understood what they meant. The steady singing voice he'd tried to maintain became a sob, and it was a struggle to get anything out without choking back more tears. If he were just able to be in his world of wonders and happy memories for forever, he'd never have to worry about any of this stuff anymore. There was no audience to please. If he messed up, no one would care. They'd just laugh it off and go back to the show. There'd be none of these thoughts that pulled at his mind and his emotions. Exhausting him for the sake of becoming something fantastic, something more than this. The song detailed exactly the world he wanted. A peaceful and happy one, where he'd be able to smile all the time and never worry again.

But this is life. Something stupid like that can't happen. This is the real world.

So you'll just have to suck it up, he thinks to himself.

Tsukasa's phone buzzes, but it isn't a regular notification. It's a muffled voice, which struggles to break through the sound of the alert. Tsukasa looks at it worriedly, his face still red and covered in tears. He doesn't answer it, of course. It keeps buzzing, until a small hologram pops out of his phone and a fully comprehensible voice is there.

"Tsukasa?"

It's Miku. Great.

Her face had started as a joyous one, but it had faded into one of worry.

"...Have you been crying?" She asked.

"No, just allergies." Tsukasa lies, wiping his nose and face with his sleeve. He tries to give the most reassuring smile possible, but it's nowhere near his usual one.

"Oh," Miku responds, completely oblivious to the lie. "Well, would you like to come visit in SEKAI?"

"We're visiting as a group later," Tsukasa says. "You'll have to wait until then."

"Aw, alright. I'll see you then, Tsukasa!"

"See you." He mumbled, shutting his phone off completely.

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It's 7:00 PM before Tsukasa realizes it. It's a few minutes past 7, actually. Tsukasa notices and frantically grabs his phone, clicking Untitled multiple times.

Fortunately, he's not too late. When he enters SEKAI, WonderlandsxShowtime is waiting for him. He's still dressed in his show uniform from earlier, but some evident spots where tears fell are visible.

"Tsukasa!" The Wonderland SEKAI's Miku would shout, clinging on to him in a hug. She did this when anyone entered, so he was unfazed at this point. The others in the SEKAI appeared as well, all in their show uniforms and with broad smiles across their faces. Good, that's what he wanted to see! The smiles of everyone he cared about.

That was his only job, right? Just to see the smiles of everyone...