Stellar Evolution/credits to "orphan_account?" on ao3

part 17

"I know you probably won't hear this, but...if you do, he wants to see you again."

Rui had never guessed he'd end up doing this. God, how long had it been—days, weeks,  months   since he'd seen him. It was unbelievable to him that it was even a possibility. He was certain Tsukasa had died, he thought that was it. But...he was just a moment away from him.

Just a moment. Just a single  click.

With a deep breath and a press of the play button on Untitled, Rui disappeared into SEKAI in a flurry of triangles and light.

As soon as he arrived in Wonderland SEKAI, he immediately began searching for Tsukasa.

"Tsukasa...Tsukasa!"

Nothing.

" Tsukasa—"

Still nothing. His hope decreased with each step he took, each whisper of the boy's name. Maybe they had lied to him. Maybe he was right, this was just another thing to get him to come back to the troupe. It had to be. How ridiculous of them, to give him some kind of false optimism for something like  that.

"Rui?"

He slowly and cautiously tilted his head to look behind.

"You showed up," Tsukasa said, smiling.

" Tsukasa, " Rui mumbles, practically falling into his grasp. He started apologizing for anything he could think of, anything at all. No matter how small or seemingly meaningless of an inconvenience it was, he'd  beg  to be forgiven for it.

"Hey. Stop, why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything." Tsukasa asked.

"That's exactly it. I didn't do anything, and now you're..."

"You've been blaming yourself, haven't you?"

Rui nodded, earning himself an irritated sigh from Tsukasa.

"Why don't we sit down? There's something I want to talk to you about, anyway," He says, grabbing Rui's hand and leading him through Wonderland SEKAI.

Rui didn't believe it was actually him at all, but—this could help, for the moment. One last chance to see him. A few final moments with a person he loved.

That was okay, for now.

"So, if you haven't been with Nene and Emu—then what have you been doing?" Tsukasa asks.

"Nothing, really. I just stay at my desk and work until my hands start bleeding," Rui answered. He was only partially joking—he'd accidentally cut himself on metal while he worked, which resulted in a multitude of bandages covering his hands.

"You shouldn't be overworking yourself like that."

"I know."

Rui glanced up at the sky. It seemed to nearly always be a perfect shade of blue, with fluffy clouds shaped like different objects. The scenery here felt right out of a book.

"What's it like being here, Tsukasa?"

"Hm?"

"You're living here. What's it like?"

"It's...it's nice. I don't have much to worry about. It reminds me of Phoenix Wonderland, but more...calm. It's sort of what I've always wanted, a place like this."

"I'm glad you found a place that makes you happy."

The troupe wasn't good enough of a place.

"Speaking of Phoenix Wonderland," Tsukasa said,

" They're closing the Wonder Stage down. "

"...They're what?"

"Nene told me yesterday. She said she overheard it from Keisuke and Shousuke while waiting for Emu at her house. So Emu doesn't know yet. It's kind of disappointing, honestly."

"What do you mean, they're...no, that can't happen. I—I can find some way to project you onto the stage from SEKAI, or—"

"It's too late for any of that," Tsukasa added, shaking his head.

"Why?"

Tsukasa sighed and reluctantly answered,

"...This is the last time I'm letting anyone else into SEKAI."

" What? "

Tsukasa laughed and tried smiling at him reassuringly. "I didn't want to talk about this so suddenly, but here we are, I suppose..."

"You're lying to me," Rui said, smiling back. It was a way for him to maintain composure, as he could feel the ache in his chest and the same standard warning signals he was going to cry.

"I'm not." Tsukasa responded, looking at him uncomfortably. "I've already talked to the Virtual Singers. There's a way to deactivate Untitled, and I decided that's what I wanted."

"You're lying. You're...you can't be serious."

"I'm sorry, Rui."

"You're leaving again," he said. An audible  crack  was present in his voice.

"Rui, hey—stop. You're shaking."

Rui said nothing in response. His vision grew thick and blurry with tears, again. How many more times would this keep happening to him? Thinking, maybe something could happen, something could be fixed.

"I'm dead, Rui. You have to move on, at some point."

Trembling. Again. The only movement present, with more tears forming each second. None of this could be happening. This wasn't really Tsukasa, anyway. It couldn't be.

"I'm sorry," Tsukasa said. He placed his hand on the back of his partner, who was shaking horribly. His touch caused Rui to then disappear, just like it had happened with Emu.

That was the last time they would ever get to speak.

I'm dead. You have to move on, at some point.

It sounded more like "I'm dead, so what does it matter?" to Rui. That was it. SEKAI would be gone tomorrow, the troupe would be gone tomorrow,  Tsukasa  would be gone tomorrow. Permanently. It shouldn't have even mattered this much to him. He should've just understood it from the beginning. His boyfriend was gone. There was nothing else to do about it. Still, Rui sat at his desk, pressing his pen into a notebook page, acting like Wonderlands x Showtime still existed, how he could've changed something. He couldn't be there and solve Tsukasa's problems well enough, so the least he could do was try and fix the troupe. They'd already done a massive show involving every stage and everyone who was a part of the staff—so that was an unavailable idea. He couldn't contact Tsukasa without SEKAI, since he'd destroyed his phone in the real world. The thought of even having him back onstage was impossible now. It didn't make sense to him—if  Tsukasa was happy spending the rest of his existence in SEKAI, Rui should just leave him be. And he wanted to. So why  couldn't he?  There was this feeling, this obligation, this  guilt  that wouldn't leave him alone.

Hours passed. The notebook page remained mostly empty, except for a few words scribbled out on the top of the page:

I don't know.