Smoke And Mirrors (BNHA x Male OC)

22: Can't Stress This Enough

Have you ever gotten to a point where you just don't know what to do? 

Like you're between a rock and a hard place. Should you just ditch the life you've made in the past few months because 'oh well I guess my cover was blown', or do you stay and keep lying to the people around you? And how would you factor in this inexplicable feeling that wells up inside you when you do some hero-like thing and how it makes you feel euphoric in a way you've only known movie screenings to do? 

Was that a bit too specific? 

Taiya thought it would be easy to throw in the towel, pack it up and go back to Tokyo. He had been calling this place a dump, after all. He was sick of Mori being such a mother hen and he was getting bored with school work. 

But U.A wasn't at all like he expected. He didn't think he'd enjoy it, or make friends or do that internship. He felt like he had so much left to prove, like leaving now would be cutting his time short. Leaving something unfinished was never his style. 

At the same time he wondered when he would be done with hero work. Now it seemed like something he could put his energy into limitlessly. It had the potential to become like acting, the sort of activity he could throw infinite energy and time into. A lifelong obsession and career. 

There was no doing both though. That was very clearly not an option. Being a hero and an actor was a conflict of interests. And Taiya had started off at hero school acting. He had created a whole new person for this. 

And it was abundantly clear that hero school wouldn't go well if he went back to being himself, as proven by Aizawa's reaction. 

The thought of more people finding out was tearing him apart inside. It drove him crazy that they questioned his motivations so thoroughly. Did Kirishima and Ashido even consider him a classmate anymore? Did they respect his classwork or did they just marvel at how well he was doing for someone who was usually in front of a camera? 

What was an actor if not a convincing liar? 

 Sighing heavily, Taiya cursed himself and his body for waking him up on time for school. He wasn't even sure he wanted to go. 

He didn't want to give up, not just yet. But Mr. Aizawa had made it pretty clear that unless he was sure of his intentions, he should leave. 

Suddenly he started beating the shit out of his pillow, taking all his frustrations out on it. 

He didn't hear Mori in the kitchen making food. Not that Taiya felt like eating anyways. 

After a moment of thrashing, he felt lightheaded and flopped down into his bed. That's right. He hadn't eaten since....

He couldn't remember. 

He hadn't eaten yesterday, too stressed by the idea of a parent-teacher interview. He hadn't eaten after that and he just woke up. 

The day before yesterday? Fuck, there had to be something. 

There had to be. 

And yet he couldn't think of a single thing. 

For some reason, he remembered an interview where he told the reported 'I don't think about food too often. Sometimes I even forget to eat it'. He thought about it a lot, if you couldn't tell. 

That couldn't be further from the truth. Just because he couldn't remember when he last ate didn't mean he wasn't constantly thinking about food. It was like an obsession. He could be doing something completely unrelated, but he'd be thinking about it. Sometimes it was a longing. He hadn't eaten so many things in so many years. What did cake even taste like?