Young and Wild || seongjoong || ATEEZ

Chapter 8 : Northern Lights

Chapter warning: brief mentions of gore

There was only one time in the entire universe that Seonghwa had felt this way.

One time only, before he even knew himself as a living person, and even before he had taken his form. Not even when he was just a shimmer of a faraway star, had he ever felt something so empty before. Physically, it was impossible since it wasn't realistic to remember his time as a distant star before he was born onto the earth, but Seonghwa knew deep down within his heart that not even the loneliness of a star could compare to the deep and fatal hole in his heart.

A wound from a spear. Metaphorical in nature, but sharp nonetheless.

Seonghwa could hardly feel his heartbeat the longer it had been since he had heard of the news. The scene was on repeat in his mind, thousands of pictures spinning around as he desperately tried to put pieces together to understand what exactly had happened. There was anger in its rawest form, and then there was fear not a second later. The kind of fear that left a man frozen where he stood not even able to produce the easiest of words to speak. The kind of fear and confusion that left one sick to their stomach- a complete imbalance of the world they used to know.

Seonghwa sat frozen with unfocused eyes on the windowsill of the room he shared with Hongjoong. It had been raining all morning leaving dewdrops on the outside of the window and dewy mist on the inside. Seonghwa had traced some shapes and even letters into the wetness on the inside of the window, but after a few minutes of lazily trying to move his stiff body, his arm had fallen down into his lap where the other one laid.

He glanced over his shoulder to where the small bed was, the sheets were ruffled and untouched since the day prior, cold and useless since they hadn't been used. He wondered if he was able to get up and walk over to run his fingertips over the fabric if the sheets would be as cold as he felt. Despite the heat of the day on a fairly tropical island, Seonghwa found that he couldn't find a way to simply warm his body.

Every now and then, when there was a slight noise that creaked into the quiet Seonghwa had surrounded himself with, his eyes would dart over to the door of the room that had remained closed ever since he had returned the night before. There was a promise there- perhaps one that was said amidst pain and confusion- but a promise no doubt. Seonghwa found that the only thing he could do was hold onto that promise. It was the only thing that kept him from breaking apart completely.

After it had all happened, when Ji-Young announced that Gyeong-Hui was Hongjoong's daughter and the captain had been able to get past the initial shock of finding out that he had a daughter he never knew of, he had told Seonghwa through gritted teeth and pale skin to head back to the inn and wait for him there.

Hongjoong had promised him there that he would be back by the time night fell.

Only, as Seonghwa sat all night on the windowsill, waiting desperately for the captain to come back and holding onto a promise that seemed to be the single stitch holding his shattered heart together, the captain had not returned. The door never opened with a key only Hongjoong was in possession of, the floor beds never creaked with a steady weight that only he was capable of, and the bed was never filled with a warmth that only the captain could provide.

Each hour that passed, Seonghwa found that he grew stiffer and stiffer. He hugged his bent legs up to his chest, looking out of the window that seemed to only be able to produce grey hues of the world. What used to be vibrant colors now laid in some melancholy demise, a certain thick cloud of mourning had come down to rest upon the island of Tortuga.