Paradox

Chapter 4: Demons

His heart felt a little lighter when he left Linda's office but by the time he got back to Lux, he was worried again. Had seeing him as the devil and feeling the hellfire scared her away forever? The memory of her scream pierced him in places he didn't think existed in him. The look in her eyes stole away his breath. He sat at the piano and played more vigorously than usual trying to quell his thoughts.

Maze dealt out drinks behind the bar but kept a keen eye on him. Something was more off than usual with him - he seemed distressed. He was still barely speaking to her after Amenadiel's actions. She regretted that he felt betrayed -- she had never wanted that. Despite what he thought wasn't her reason for what she did. Yes, part of it was selfish because she did want to go back but the main reason was his apparent morality -- he could really and truly be hurt very badly and she cared about him far too much to let that happen. Even if she wanted to kick his ass at some times when he deserved it which was rather frequently lately, she didn't want him to suffer. Which unfortunately also seemed to be occurring. She couldn't begin to understand why he cared about the priest but he had. He was sad and angry and moped around for days after the priest's death. Her attempts to get him to confide in her were met with a piercing gaze and condemnation over her betrayal. He was stubborn, selfish, willful, and unforgiving but she knew, deep down, his anger would wear off.

Lucifer's chest felt tight, there also seemed to be something heavy sitting in his throat, his sight grew blurry -- dread gripped him. Were those deplorable optical fluids trying to escape again -- here in the middle of Lux. Bloody hell he cursed under his breath, he stopped playing and bolted up to his penthouse. He passed the Brittanies who were all calling for him to come and play.

As the elevator closed behind him he stood gulping for air and cursing his father. Once again the reputation of the devil weighed heavily on him. Five years on earth and he couldn't break free because punishing people was now a part of him and he couldn't seem to stop it. Here on earth, he enjoyed it because it was on his terms but those blasted miscreants still blamed him for all of the sins they committed thanks to his father.

He sighed he needed to distract himself -- perhaps a good shag with the Brittanies was just what he needed or an engaging threesome -- perhaps an Eiffel tower was the way to go. Instead, he sighed again, went over to the phone, and called the Detective. She didn't answer so he left a message. "Detective. don't you think we should talk?" He then hung up. Then five minutes later he called again. "I'm sorry." Then a few minutes later... "Chloe, I just want to make sure that you are okay, please call." Pathetic.. he was being pathetic. He had been telling her he was the devil all along. It wasn't his fault that she didn't believe him. It wasn't like he purposely turned the hellfire onto her. The look in her eyes played in his head again. What if this was it...what if she truly was gone from his life. Linda's words echoed through his head. Just let them flow. He desperately wanted to feel better but it made no sense that squeezing out a few tears would make that happen. He knew he only felt better last time because Chloe hugged him. Uncountable numbers of humans cried and sobbed when he and Maze tortured them but he didn't see how that made any of them feel better. It was just a pathetic waste of energy.

He groaned, put his arms on the bar counter, and rested his forehead upon them. He was alone. Maybe he could try it -- but now that he was resigned -- nothing happened. His eyes prickled, and the lump in his throat was still there but nothing. A hand suddenly stroked his back. He sat up and found Maze standing beside him.

"Leave," he growled -- his eyes flashed red. "Or have you forgotten that we are done!" he ordered coldly.

Maze stared at her devil who she had known practically since the beginning of time. He hadn't taken her betrayal lightly and it was still heavy on his mind. Everything about their relationship had changed in the last while but mostly he had. In many ways, he had always been hers, her partner, her lover, her confidant until now. He had become fascinated by a mortal woman and they had become partners in everything but sex. She loved sex as did Lucifer mostly with others but on rare occasions with each other. She missed those times, she missed being partners, she missed torturing as a team -- mostly she missed her devil. Ever since the Detective had appeared on the scene she had lost him on so many levels. She could tell that something had happened, something that tore at his core in the same way his father's condemning him to hell had consumed him -- more so in anger than whatever she was seeing now. Something bad must have happened to his pet Detective. She frowned and hoped that the daughter, Trixie, was okay. She had infuriated Lucifer a few months ago when he was down about the Detective and was pissed off because she had disrespected him she couldn't resist the chance to push his buttons further by saying "or what, you'll cry hard on my shoulder." Now in this almost mortal state, he looked capable of it.