Ah love, my love {Mo Dao Zu Shi}

Panic

Lan WangJi was fidgeting quite a bit and was anxious. He didn't know how to tell Wei WuXian the whole truth.

'He will be disgusted if he knows the whole truth. But  doesn't he deserve to know? Of course he does. Lan WangJi, you didn't change even after decades? Still a worthless,selfish and useless person, ever since your birth.' 

Lan WangJi's thoughts were interrupted by Wei WuXian as he asked again "Lan Zhan? Tell me."

Lan WangJi was about to open his mouth to say something when he heard rushing footsteps coming towards them.

"WangJi." Lan XiChen's worry filled voice came through the air. And he was RUNNING, which was prohibited in Cloud Recesses.

"Xiong Zhang." Lan WangJi bowed in greeting.

"Cut the greetings already! Why didn't you tell anyone????" Lan XiChen said hurriedly, while trying to catch his breath while standing.

"Tell what?"
"Stop playing dumb. Head Healer told me about it."

Lan WangJi's breathing hitched. "What....he...no..." his breathing turned irregular and he started hyperventilating.

'He knows, he knows, he knows. What will I say? How will I cover this up? Now he will want to know everything, the reasons, the events, the past-'

"WangJi! What happened? Didi, talk!!!" Lan XiChen cried out, worried sick seeing his brother hyperventilating like this.

Wei WuXian was no better. He was supporting Lan WangJi with both his hands. "Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, breathe my dear, breathe."

Lan WangJi barely caught what they were saying. All he could think of was the horrible past.

'IwillhavetotellthemIwillhavetotellthemIwillhavetotellthem-'

Having the illness already in his body, he couldn't hold himself and lost consciousness. Lan XiChen and Wei WuXian became even more frantic, hovering over him and taking him to the healers.

Lan XiChen hurriedly told one of the disciples to inform his uncle.

"Xichen-ge what happened to him? You were telling about the healer telling you something." He asked while pacing furiously outside the Infirmary, as the healers were treating Lan WangJi inside and didn't allow anyone else to come in.

"WuXian, he....he has a disease."

Wei WuXian stopped pacing, his heart stopped at the sudden revelation.

"What?!?!?!?!!??!!?!"
"I just got to know today as well. I was going to the Infirmary to get some medicine for a paper cut when I found Head Healer Zai looking troubled and asked what was wrong. He told me that WangJi's body has been decaying from the inside for an unknown reason and since they do not know what, they cannot treat him properly either. It's killing him slowly. He has about two months. And the worst part is, he did not tell anyone about this." Lan XiChen said with his voice filled in heartbroken sorrow.

Wei WuXian's head was spinning. Not only was his husband ill, not only is it a life threatening situation, he didn't even tell anyone, not even him.

"Why wouldn't he tell anyone? Lan Zhan..." Wei WuXian buried his face in his hands, sobbing. He couldn't imagine a life without Lan WangJi. A life without his dearest, his lover, his husband, his life, his heart, his everything.  He was beyond heartbroken to know Lan WangJi didn't tell anyone. The crying earlier made it worse. What did he mean by asking if Wei WuXian would love Lan WangJi if he was no longer young and beautiful? When he had nothing but his aching soul? Of course Wei WuXian would love him always. But what did that mean?

"I am going to find out." Wei WuXian wiped his eyes with a clear determination in his tone.

After the check up was done and they were allowed inside the Infirmary, Lan WangJi was conscious already. Wei WuXian was glaring furiously at him, while Lan XiChen looked pained beyond words.

"Explain." One word but the coldness in Wei WuXian's voice made Lan WangJi flinch slightly. He looked down at his lap, gripping the fabric tightly.

"Lan Zhan I told you to explain yourself. Why didn't you tell ANYONE of us ANYTHING at all? You didn't even tell me?" Wei WuXian's accusatory tone made Lan WangJi feel even more guilty.

"I could not."
"Why not?"
"Reasons."
"Then tell now."
"No."
"Lan Zhan."
"I can not."

Wei WuXian was now feeling immensely pained, "Don't you trust me, trust us?"

Lan WangJi looked up finally, his golden eyes sorrowful, "Of course I do. It is just..." his eyes turned distant. "It is a lot to talk about."

Wei WuXian put a hand over Lan WangJi bigger ones, "Then tell slowly. We are here to listen."

Lan WangJi gulped, " Too long. Too awful."

Lan XiChen frowned, " What is too awful?"

Lan WangJi did not answer. Wei WuXian gently reprimanded ," Lan Zhan, how can we help if you do not tell us?"

Lan WangJi sighed, " It really is too long of a story. And my past is.... horrible."

Wei WuXian and Lan XiChen frowned. Lan XiChen said," WangJi, what is it that even I do not know? I am your brother. At least I should know right? Or uncle.?

Lan WangJi shook his head. There were parts of his past he told no one at all, much like this disease. But it was too late to hide now. But to tell everything... Lan WangJi was reluctant.

"Lan Zhan, how about I do Empathy then? I will just see everything."

Lan WangJi panicked even more, "NO, NOT EMPATHY!" He exclaimed loudly.

"Why not?"
"..."
"Lan Zhan."
"You will hate me."

Wei WuXian was dumbfounded, "Huh? I will hate you? Pfffttt what a joke."

"I am serious, Wei Ying."
"I am serious too. I can never hate you."
"You will."
"No I will not. Trust me."

Lan WangJi continued to refute. But Wei WuXian stubbornly kept insisting to either tell or let him use Empathy. After all, it was his life that was on the line.

Lan WangJu finally sighed in defeat and agreed, "Alright, Wei Ying can perform Empathy."

Lan XiChen was finally settled in his heart after his brother agreed. He smiled softly, "I will be present in case of emergency."

Lan WangJi nodded hesitantly. His brother and his lover are the two closest people to him in his life. He felt scared about what their reaction might be after everything is revealed to them, especially Wei Ying, since he will be the one doing the Empathy.  But there was no hiding from this now.

He has to face them up and let then know the truth.

A/N: UwU 200+ reads. Thank u so much all. :')
Next chapter will be the beginning of the big reveal of Lan WangJi's past and I assure you, it's as horrible as it can be. *Que evil laughter* Adios for now. <3